PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/compat.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-list-util.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/option.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-matchesmapregex.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-error.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/cache.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/default-filters.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/l10n.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/l10n.php on line 16

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-locale.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-locale-switcher.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-walker.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-ajax-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/capabilities.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-roles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-role.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/date.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/theme.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/user.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-session-tokens.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user-meta-session-tokens.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/meta.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-meta-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-metadata-lazyloader.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/general-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/author-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-page.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-page-dropdown.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-post-type.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-post.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/revision.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-formats.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-thumbnail-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/category.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-category.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-category-dropdown.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/category-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/rewrite.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-rewrite.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/feed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/bookmark.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/bookmark-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/kses.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/cron.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/deprecated.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/script-loader.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-dependency.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-scripts.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.wp-scripts.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-styles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.wp-styles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 16

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-taxonomy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-term-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-tax-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/update.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/canonical.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/shortcodes.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/embed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-embed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-oembed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-oembed-controller.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/media.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/http.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-http.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-requests.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-streams.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-curl.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-proxy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-cookie.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-encoding.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-requests-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-requests-hooks.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/widgets.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-widget.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-widget-factory.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/nav-menu.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/nav-menu-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-nav-menu.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/admin-bar.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/rest-api.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/vars.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/pluggable.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/pluggable-deprecated.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/default-widgets.php on line 2
phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/template-loader.php on line 2
 键盘 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

亲,您需要先 登录|注册 才能分享喔!

点击微博图标,直接登录。否则请输入用户名密码登录。

Tagged: 键盘 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • franciscofulkers am10:24 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: , 键盘   

    IBM和波音777 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    波音777是有史以来第一架完全在电脑虚拟现实中设计制造的飞机,所用的设备完全由IBM公司所提供。

    试飞前,波音公司的总裁非常热情的邀请IBM的技术主管去参加试飞,可那位主管却说道:“啊,非常荣幸,可惜那天是我妻子的生日,So……”

    波音公司的总载一听就生气了:“胆小鬼,我还没告诉你试飞的日期呢!”。

    2丶

    程式设计师与妓女:

    1.一样是靠出卖身体为生

    2.吃青春饭,人老珠黄肯定混不下去

    3.越高级收入越高,当然中间人的抽头会更高

    4.生活没有规律以夜生活为主,如果需要,□晨也要加班

    5.名声越大,越容易受到青睐

    6.必须尽最大可能满足客户各种各样非正常的需求

    7.鼓励创新精神

    8.群聚程式师的地方称软体园区,妓女集中的地方叫红灯区

    9.流动性较大,正常情况下没有工会

    10.如果怀孕了,既不能做程式员,也不能做妓女

    11.都为了防病毒的问题而烦恼..

    12.当然,个中高手还专门以制毒传毒为乐

    13.一个是Plug&Play,一个是Plug$Play

    14.工作状态相同工作时精神高度集中,最怕外界干扰,工作完毕身心放松,体会到一种不可替代的工作快乐!

    15.女孩子最好还是不要做这两个职业,但还是有很多女孩子做

    16.除非在转行以后,否则都不愿意结婚

    17.他们都痛恨"微软"

    3丶

    电脑公司开业之际,亲朋好友饮酒助兴。

    一声“开机(启)”,大家各自开启一瓶啤酒。

    “清零”,大家举瓶畅饮,进行一次“批处理”。

    “复位”,放下酒瓶。

    ……

    “嘿,别喝了,我的内存不够,没法运行。”甲拍拍肚皮道。

    “可不,我的显示器也出毛病了。”乙颤抖着手,语无伦次地说。

    “哎,我的键盘怎么失灵了。”丙叫嚷,“眼前一切都飘飘摇摇的”。

    0
     
  • ilenelester29 am10:16 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 键盘   

    ISP是什么意思 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    问:ISP是什么意思?
    答:ImpossibletoSucceedatPresent(在当前就根本不能成功)
    ImmenseSpendingProfession(花费巨大的行业)
    IndicatingScarceProfit(表明缺乏收益)

    2丶

    COMPAQ的一位技术服务员接到一位男性顾客的电话,说他的计算机无法读取旧磁盘上的文字处理文件。查找原因时,既未发现磁盘受过强磁场,也没有受过热。原来这位先生曾经给这张磁盘贴了个标签,然后用将其卷到打字机的滚筒上打上几个字,认为做了LABEL。

    3丶

    所谓网恋,就是一根电话线,两颗寂寞心,三更半夜里,四目不相见,十指来传情。

    所谓网恋,就是电脑和电脑诉衷肠,键盘与键盘说情话,鼠标和鼠标谈恋爱。

    所谓网恋,就是聊天时“让我的爱飘过你的网”,就是停电时“我寂寞的心只有你最懂”。

    所谓网恋,就是聊天室爱情。聊天室是爱情超市,总有一件任你挑选。

    所谓网恋,就是QQ上的爱情。QQ上的头像如繁星,总有一颗为你点亮。

    所谓网恋,就是BBS上的爱情。BBS弥漫万千风情,总有一番情怀为你敞开。

    所谓网恋,就是一款软件。这款软件具有练习打字的功能,网恋也许成不了爱情专家,应聘打字员岗位应该不在话下。

    所谓网恋,就是一项游戏。此项游戏简单易行,两个ID,各备鸡、猫、鼠一只,然后反复击打键盘,便可体验心跳的感觉。

    所谓网恋,就是一种病毒。这种病毒发作时,开机容易关机难,并反复出现“我爱你我爱你我爱你”之类的乱码。

    所谓网恋,就是健身方案。网恋长路漫漫,不用打球跑步,便可达到锻炼之效;恋途崎岖险峻,不用吃苦登高,便可领略瑰丽风景。日久则成钢铁之躯,百毒不侵。

    所谓网恋,就是瘦身计划。一种相思,两处闲愁,为伊消得人憔悴。网恋之美在于距离,而现代人以瘦为美,反证网恋之正确性与必要性。

    所谓网恋,就是一种运动。且看早起跑步之人,有胖人有瘦人,胖的想瘦瘦的想胖,想想真是费劲,不如大家都来搞网恋。“开展网恋运动,增强人民体质。”

    所谓网恋,就是以屏幕当花月,一个人哭笑悲喜。

    所谓网恋,就是站在镜子之前,面对自己谈情说爱。

    所谓网恋,就是一场爱情预演,或者爱情温习。

    所谓网恋,就是只爱一点点,只爱陌生人,只爱不言婚。

    所谓网恋,就是见光死,不见光也死。

    0
     
  • mikaylagao am9:45 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: , 键盘   

    Windows 2000 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    以下是微软公司预计发布的Windows2000的新特性

    1.可能取消99%的键盘按键

    2.每次启动前必须先输入社会安全号码

    3.按任意键继续或任意键取消

    4.按任意键除了…,(不,不,不…….这条取消)

    5.按Ctrl+Alt+Del,开始一个IQ测试

    6.闭三次眼睛等于按一次[Esc]

    7.Badcommandorfilename!将出现在屏幕角落

    8.“请稍后,准备关闭Windows,是否进行新GAME?”

    9.系统提示:“文件保存错误,是否格式化硬盘?(Y/Y)”

    10.来自GATES上帝的信息:“重启动世界,请注销”

    11.要关闭你的机器,请输入“WIN”

    12.Breakfast.syshalt食物plug-in端口初始化错误

    13.coffee.vxdmissing,请插入一个杯子然后按任意键继续…

    14.congress.dll错误,重启动Washionton.D.C.?(Y/N)

    15.FilenotFound,是否要伪造一个?

    16.BadorMissingMouse,改用CAT?

    17.RuntimeError6Dat417A:32CF,盗版用户!

    18.读FAT区错误:换一张?(Y/N)

    19.致命错误16547:LpT1notfound,使用备份设备(pencil&paper.sys)

    20.User64.dllError:请换个用户

    21.WindowsVirusScan1.0-“Windows2000病毒被发现,是否清除它?”

    22.启动信息:欢迎来微软的世界—您的义务就是付钱!

    23.如果您是艺术家,您应该感到BILL先生正拥有您和您的全部作品.是否很有安全感?

    24.您的硬盘在运行SCANDISK2000后出现:“您的所有盗版软件已经被删除,并且警察正在来的路上:)”

    2丶

    “你昨晚跟网友的约会如何?”室友问。
    “太恐怖了!”室友回答。
    “他居然开他的那台1932年出厂的老爷劳斯莱斯来接我。”
    “酷!那真是太酷了!有什么好恐怖的?”
    “问题是他是那台车子的第一任主人。”

    3丶

    真正的程序员从来不写注释,难写的程序必定也难读。

    真正的程序员不写应用程序,他们直接从最底层的裸机开始编程。

    他们认为应用程序编程是那些不会系统编程的人干的活。

    真正的程序员不画流程图,流程图是没文化的人的文档,居住在山洞里的人才在岩壁上画流程图。

    真正的程序员不读手册,依赖手册是无知和懦弱的表现。

    真正的程序员从不一次做对,他们可以连续30个小时坐在机器前面给程序打补丁。

    真正的程序员从不按早9晚5的生活过日子,如果你在早上9点看见一个程序员,那一定是他一夜未眠。

    真正的程序员比用户还清楚用户需要什么。

    真正的程序员喜欢兼卖爆米花,他们利用CPU散发出的热量做爆米花,可以根据米花爆裂的速度听出正在运行什么程序。

    0
     
  • revamacneil759 am9:01 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: , 键盘   

    超级游戏 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    小米是个游戏发烧友,大小游戏统统玩遍。暑假到了,小米来到软件超市,看见一张海报写着:超级合集!个个精彩!毫不留情夺取众多玩家暑期时光的力作!顿时喜不自胜,兴冲冲地买了一张。

    小米三步并作两步跑回家,乐滋滋地打开电脑仔细浏览光盘内容,发现其中有一个游戏叫《计算机病毒争霸之血海狂涛》。是什么样的游戏呢?小米好奇不已,决定安装来看看,点击安装程序,一个漂亮的安装画面出现在电脑屏幕上,上面写着:奉劝初级玩家,本游戏难度较大,极少有玩家在两个月内通关。象我这样的超级玩家,自然是另当别论了。尤西米对此毫不在意,但是好奇心却更加强烈。过了“安装向导”,计算机画面突然一黑,尤西米大吃一惊,额头也渗出了汗珠,天哪,怎么回事儿?是不是死机了?这时,画面打出几排字:

    祝贺你!安装完毕!谢谢你购买本公司的产品!

    恭喜你选择了一个精彩的游戏!

    现在你的电脑已经被感染了300类,2100种病毒;

    本游戏的目的在于训练玩家的杀毒技能;

    在杀毒中充分体会游戏的乐趣;

    杀毒方法详见《游戏说明》;

    现在按回车退出安装;

    开始尽情享受《计算机病毒争霸之血海狂涛》!

    2丶

    电脑公司开业之际,亲朋好友饮酒助兴。一声“开机(启)”,大家各自开启一瓶啤酒。“清零”,大家举瓶畅饮,进行一次“批处理”。“复位”,放下酒瓶。

    ……

    “嘿,别喝了,我的内存不够,没法运行。”甲拍拍肚皮道。

    “可不,我的显示器也出毛病了。”乙颤抖着手,语无伦次地说。

    “哎,我的键盘怎么失灵了。”丙叫嚷,“眼前一切都飘飘摇摇的”。

    3丶

    以下是发生在Novell网络系统公司的真实故事:顾客:“喂,是技术服务部吗?”技术员:“是的。我能为您做点什么?”顾客:“我计算机上的茶杯架坏了。这台计算机还没出保修期呢,请问我如何到您那里修一下?”技术员:“对不起,您刚才说是要修茶杯架吗?”顾客:“不错。它原来就安装在计算机的前部。”技术员:“实在对不起。如果我让您觉得糊涂的话,那是因为我自己确实糊涂了。那个茶杯架是不是您在交易会上得到的赠品?上面是否有商标?您是怎么得到的?”顾客:“我不知道有什么赠品。那时计算机本身带的,上面只有一个‘4X’字样。”这位技术员此时不得不把电话挂断,他实在无法再和对方谈下去了。原来这为先生把光盘驱动器(CD-ROM)上的光盘托架拉出来当成了茶杯架。

    0
     
  • sammyhorder5 am8:55 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 键盘   

    臭虫集锦 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    佛曰:一滴水中有三万六千条虫。

    比尔盖茨曰:WIN2000也有三万六千条虫。

    佛曰:由一滴水可以看世界。

    比尔盖茨曰:由WIN2000也可以看到臭虫集锦。

    2丶

    网恋是一种病毒,是一种传染慢但发作快的病毒,如果你的电脑出现下列症状,那么,你的电脑就传染上了这种病毒了。

    1、不容易关机。

    你的电脑传染了网恋这种病毒后,就会迫使你开机的时间很长,而且一开机就没有关的意思,往往到了第二天凌晨4、5点钟,连街上的小偷都该回去睡觉了,你的机器还关不上。网恋病毒与其他病毒一样,也有定期发作的特性,从周五晚上开始,就一直不能关机,你只能眼睁睁地看着你的显示器如一盏坟堆里的长明灯,苟延残喘地连续照亮两天三夜而毫无办法。

    2、鼠标不听使唤。

    你本来要去点击经典小说,看看高行健写的《灵山》为什么能够获得诺贝尔文学奖,鼠标却老往痞子蔡的《第一次亲密接触》这样的煽情文章上跑。甚至,你说不去聊天室,你也根本没有点击聊天室,屏幕却自动打开,把你弹了进去。弹进去就弹进去吧,鼠标还老把光标往一个名字上移,而且移上去就再不动了,你说气人不气人?

    3、QQ传输速度变得特别慢。

    当你与你想聊的人聊天时,你的网络传输速度就变得像老牛一样的慢,对方给你说的话,总是比平常你与一般朋友聊天时来得慢得多,而且往往有这样的症状,就是都觉得对方传过来的话慢,自己传过去的话快,所以经常你会把键盘拍得蓬蓬发响而不感觉到自己的手掌疼。

    4、电脑时钟时快时慢。

    在你等你想见的人时,电脑时钟变得比往常慢几倍,而当那人上来了后,电脑时钟又突然变得行走如飞,让你老联想起爱因斯坦的相对论来。

    5、经常花屏。

    有时候你好好地聊着天,对方只说了三个字,你的屏幕突然就花了,就像是透过什么水看过去的一样,而且越擦越花,不管你用的是刚买的美格19‘还是IBM21‘都一样。当然不是你的眼泪弄花的,就是有人在一旁看见了你也不会承认的,你又不是在切洋葱,你是在使用高科技产品,怎么会薰出眼泪来呢。

    6、一个句子重复出现。

    传染了网恋病毒的电脑,会经常重复出现一两句话,比如:我用我的心在爱你,不知你是不是感觉得到;在茫茫网海中,你我相爱了,这是缘分还是上天安排。症状严重的,一晚上就只说三个字“我爱你、我爱你”,说得自己都烦了,这几个字还老自己往外蹦。有的电脑干脆连中文也打不出来,就一个劲地显示Iloveyou。。。挡都挡不住。

    7、屏幕会沾上电脑主人的唇印。

    网恋病毒中度症状,是特别容易沾上电脑主人的唇印。出现这样的症状需要一个条件,就是对方的照片出现在自己的屏幕上。症状严重的,哪怕只出现了对方的名字,电脑也会沾上唇印。当然,如果这台电脑配备有彩色打印机,症状就会消失,只是电脑主人的唇上会时不时地沾一些打湿了的纸屑。

    8、电脑会失去聊天功能。

    网恋病毒高度严重的时候,电脑就失去聊天功能了,害得主人只有使用电话聊天,虽然电脑照常可以打游戏、上网,但再也无法用它聊天了。电脑主人都会奇怪,用键盘怎么能够传达出自己想要说的话呢?

    虽然网恋病毒这样可怕,但要清除它也相当方便、有效,唯一的杀毒软件就是见面。一见面再厉害的病毒都被杀得干干净净,只有极少极少的例外者,当然这些例外者一般都不会再上网的了。网恋病毒虽然容易杀死,但却极容易死灰复燃,你刚用见面软件杀死了它,一不小心,它又传染到你电脑里去了。所以有不少受伤害严重的人士,黑着脸铁着心宣布:戒网戒网!采取物理断开方式,方可完全杜绝网恋病毒的侵害。

    3丶

    学校新盖了几座宿舍楼,计算机系的楼最先完工,照惯例学生们要在每层楼的楼梯口贴上楼层的数字,就使用哪种数字的问题同学展开了讨论,我也凑巧旁听。同学们的提议各种各样:有说用阿拉伯数字“1 2 3 4”,有说用罗马数字“Ⅰ Ⅱ Ⅲ Ⅳ”有说既然我们是中国人就应该用“壹贰 叁 肆”,这时我突然灵机一动,说我们楼住的是计算机系的学生,不如这样这样。最后大家通过了我的提议,在每层楼分别贴上了“0001”“0010”“0011”“0100”

    0
     
  • leonidaolds8 pm6:25 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , 键盘   

    干净的房间 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    我在一家电脑公司工作时,有一天,一位女士打来电话说她的打印机不工作。

      我就问她用的是什么操作系统,是不是Windows,她回答说她不清楚。

      我又问她桌子上有鼠标(mouse:老鼠)吗?

      她回答:“感谢上帝,这是一间非常干净的办公室。”

    2丶

    电脑公司开业之际,亲朋好友饮酒助兴。

      一声“开机(启)”,大家各自开启一瓶啤酒。

      “清零”,大家举瓶畅饮,进行一次“批处理”。

      “复位”,放下酒瓶。

      ……

      “嘿,别喝了,我的内存不够,没法运行。”甲拍拍肚皮道。

      “可不,我的显示器也出毛病了。”乙颤抖着手,语无伦次地说。

      “哎,我的键盘怎么失灵了。”丙叫嚷,“眼前一切都飘飘摇摇的”。

    3丶

    一个旅行者走进硅谷的一家宠物商店,随便浏览着货架上笼子里的动物。这时另一名顾客走了进来,对店员说:“我要一只C猴子。”
      店员点点头,从一只笼子里牵出一只猴子,把连着猴子项圈的绳子递给那位顾客:“五千美元。”那位顾客付了钱然后牵走了猴子。
      这位旅行者惊呆了,他问店员:“这只猴子未免太贵了,一般的猴子也就几百美元,这只猴子有什么特别之处吗?”
      “这只猴子能用C编程——非常快,代码严谨,没有错误。它确实值这个钱。”
      旅行者又看见了另一只猴子,“这只更贵,一万美元!它能干些什么?”
      “哦,它是一只C++猴子,他会面向对象的编程、VisualC++甚至JAVA,它非常有用。”
      过了一会儿,旅行者又看到了第三只猴子,它的脖子上的价格标签竟然标着50000美元。他几乎喘不过气来:“这一只甚至比那两只加起来还要贵,它究竟能干什么呢?”
      “说实话,我也不知道他到底会干什么,不过那两只都叫他‘老板’。”

    0
     
  • marlonhersh pm5:54 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , 键盘   

    聊天笑话 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    A:聊的真愉快…..

    B:是ㄚ….

    A:对了,你都是在那里连上网路的呀?

    B:我在家里呀!!

    A:oh…?家里也可以连??

    B:我用modem呀!

    A:oh…..modem牌电脑可以上网路呀??

    B:………

    A:怎麽没反应??

    B:sorry….我刚刚在地上打滚…..

    2丶

    比尔.盖茨和乔布斯各带了两个职员去洛杉矶开会,在火车站他们相遇了,比尔问乔布斯买好了车票没有,乔说买了一张,比很惊奇,想看看乔等三个人怎样躲过查票员的检查。火车开动,查票员来了,比发现乔及其职员躲到一个厕所里去了,查票员敲厕所门时,他们从门缝里塞了一张票出来,躲过了查票员的检查,比对乔佩服的五体投地,决定回来时效仿乔。

    回来时,他们又相遇了,比扬着手中的车票对乔说,其实你那一招我早会了,看看,我也只买了一张车票,乔说,哦,是吗!?我们这次可一张票都没买。比又大吃一惊,搞不懂乔布斯没票怎样躲过查票员。火车一开动,比尔便立即与他的职员躲进一间厕所里去,乔耸了耸肩膀,走过去敲响了比尔盖茨的厕所门……

    3丶

    “一小郭子奶稀”小两口台见:
    今日之事可谓遇史无前例之“浆糊”——某电视台拍节目。
    10:00左右突闻某电视台要做网站,但尚无具体内容,仅标志而已,乃商议等内容定了再做。孰料片刻后复有电话曰:材料在XX网上,内容为网络助学,献爱心!且下午要来拍摄节目,并指明要拍网站。于是上网去当,奈何网络慢如蜗牛,乃疯狂搜罗苦难儿童事迹,幸于在某网拾得一白血病患儿之母之求援信,乃拷之,复贴之;又穷3小时构想页面排版,于下午2时许方得。
    盖当此首页之框架完成三中之二时,制片曰:时间紧迫,立即开拍。万般无奈下,将排版的psd格式转存jpg图片格式,作为特大背景图贴于一空白网页中,以IE4全屏模式显示,镜头中倒也有模有样。看主持人独对一图片敲打键盘,口中振振有词,众领导皆作欣喜状!乃叹浆糊,一叹自学会网页制作以来最浆糊之作竟一炮而上电视(不知片子是否会通过节目审批,即使通过,也要在4、5月才能播出。又叹,何苦如此猴急,多一天岂不全全搞定?);二叹电视台也如此制假,打假何时才能实现?唯一所幸是众领导对吾photoshop、illustrator以及3dsmax之技术赞叹不已,盖见吾快捷键运用如飞之故?
    闲来无事,写于二位作茶余饭后之谈资,以博一笑耳。

    0
     
  • antoniettasconce pm5:43 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , , , 键盘   

    男人的岁数与品牌 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    二十岁的男人–奔腾

    三十岁的男人–日立

    四十岁的男人–方正

    五十岁的男人–微软

    六十四的男人–松下

    七十岁的男人–联想

    2丶

     一日去客户办公室修计算机,修完后他的同事X小姐说她的计算机也有问题,希望我一并处理。

      我:“X小姐,你的计算机哪里坏了?”

      X小姐:“我的计算机不能看A片啦!”

      我(大滴汗,不好意思):“不,不能看,看A片?!是,是哪一片?在办公室我放一下看,看可以吗?”

      X小姐:“当然可以啊!又没什么见不得人的!”顺手拿出一张磁盘,“就是这张A片不能看!不管我怎么看,都看不到里面的内容,你们的计算机好烂!!”

      我:“。。。。。”

    3丶

    亲爱的大伟:

    我们的电脑买了一年多了,我也没有怎么摆弄它,今天趁着你和儿子出去了,我把心里想说的话敲在上面,希望你看了之后,能给我一个答复。

    我首先忠告你的是:晚上睡觉时,手指最好老实一点,别一个劲地在我身上乱点,我的身子不是键盘,我的鼻子也不是鼠标。再这样,可别怪我某一晚把你的手指咬下半截。

    你爱Internet,我不反对。你可以跟你那些最知心的“峨眉大侠”、“白毛女”侃个不停,但我们3岁的儿子哭着叫你揩一下屁股时,你不能够随手抓起打印机的纸对付我们的未来。你的厚脸皮经受得起打印纸的磨擦,我们儿子柔嫩的屁股可吃不消。

    你的腰越来越粗,腿越来越细,你感觉不到吗?我真想不通,厕所离你的电脑椅才几步远?你硬是坐下就不想动,还想把电脑椅改成便捷式马桶。你怎么就不动脑筋,多挣点钱把家改装一下,最好把我这丑婆娘也改装一下,省得我为你操心。

    昨天坐你的车,前面一大堆乱石头,你不刹车,还一个劲喊:“Back?后退?键哪里去了!老兄,要不是我眼明脚快,帮你踩住刹车,也许现在敲盘劝你的人就不是我了。

    大伟,我仍爱你,但你总不能连吃饭也要我通过E-mail来叫你吧?我们应明白我们彼此的责任和对我们未来的爱心,难道虚幻的电脑世界比我和独生子跟你在一起的世界更精彩?

    好了,我就敲到这里,再敲下去,我怕我会让它永远死机。

    顺祝:回头是乐!

    仍爱着你的:虫娘

    0
     
  • MusicianXL pm5:24 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , 键盘   

    汽车的故事 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    据说有一位软件工程师,一位硬件工程师和一位项目经理同坐车参加研讨会。不幸在从盘山公路下山时坏在半路上了。于是两位工程师和一位经理就如何修车的问题展开了讨论。

    硬件工程师说:“我可以用随身携带的瑞士军刀把车坏的部分拆下来,找出原因,排除故障。”

    项目经理说:“根据经营管理学,应该召开会议,根据问题现状写出需求报告,制定计划,编写日程安排,逐步逼近,alpha测试,beta1测试和beta2测试解决问题。”

    软件工程师说:“咱们还是应该把车推回山顶再开下来,看看问题是否重复发生。”

    2丶

    新型的:跟以前的型号颜色不同。

    全新的:零件跟以前的型号无法互换。

    先进设计:广告代理都不明白到底是怎么回事。

    终于出现:匆忙的结果,悄悄地进村,打枪的不要。

    经过区域测试:制造商缺乏测试设备。

    多年开发:它终于能干活了。

    革命性的:跟竞争对手完全不同。

    突破性的:我们终于找到一种销售方法。

    出类拔萃的:完全不同的形状和颜色。

    无须维护:没法修理。

    重新设计:修正了以前版本,希望这次不会出事。

    性能保证:保修期内可以正常工作。

    符合所有标准:标准是我们的,不是你们的。

    高度可靠:发货之前还可以正常工作。

    最新太空科技:我们的一项技术最近被波音公司采用了。

    3丶

    从一个人的键盘磨损度可以看出很多东西。比如:

    1、W严重磨损:

    原因:FIFA的加速键是W。

    分析:此人是个FIFA高手。这种人在看球时左手中指会不自觉地狂点;踢球时会抱怨说:又按错键了;跑步时会默念:w、w、w。。。

    2、ALTS或CTRLENTER磨损:

    原因:这两个组合都是OICQ的发送讯息。

    分析:此人是QQ狂,具备以一当十的能力。这种人会把别人的电话号码当作OICQ去查询;写文章时会大量使用GG、MM、hehe、haha、o、886、520、7456等字眼;在动物园看见企鹅会说:拜托你丫换个头像好不好?

    3、W、A、S、D、U、I、J、K都有明显磨损:

    原因:这八个键是拳皇迷常用的控制键。

    分析:此人是个拳皇迷,但不一定是高手,因为拳皇高手太多了。这种人有事没事都会两只手在腿上或桌上不停敲打,旁观者会认为他是专业弹钢琴的,并且肃然起敬。

    4、CTRLC和CTRLV明显磨损:

    原因:大家都干过这事,就不用说了。

    分析:此人是网站编辑或转贴狂人。这种人手都很巧,剪刀和胶水的使用技巧出神入化。

    5、ASHIFTCTRL1234。。。不同程度磨损:

    原因:打过星际的朋友都知道这是最常用的键。

    分析:此人常打星际。这种人在生活中的计数方法是十二进制;数东西时会说:一队、两队。。。

    注:星际中,十二个物体为一队。

    6、F5键磨损到变成白板:

    原因:F5是刷新键。

    分析:此人是斑竹或板斧,要时刻看新贴发裤子,比如淑芬、猫少和我。这种人看报纸时会用马桶刷子不停地刷报纸,期望看到更新的内容;而且喜欢到处贴广告,曾经有人看了我们在电线杆上贴的广告,跑来找我们治性病。

    7、CTRLALTDEL严重磨损:

    原因:重启。

    分析:此人是,我也不知他是干吗的,但他该换台电脑了。

    8、小键盘磨损:

    原因&分析:基本上属于高危险工种,如:银行出纳。。。

    9、键盘左中和右中部分各有一块圆形严重磨损,分别以D和回车为圆心:

    原因&分析:气管炎,长期跪键盘。

    注:根据身材不同,圆心和半径稍有变化属正常现象。

    10、键盘无任何磨损:

    原因&分析:必为新键盘。

    0
     
  • leonidaolds8 pm5:16 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 键盘   

    软件 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    我昨天刚给朋友安装的软件被他删除了。我询问原因,他的妻子说,他不小心点了“uninstall”然后他不知怎样取消,想起了我曾给他说过的话,“不知什么意思时,只管点yes就行了”的话,结果他就一路点击“yes”……

    2丶

    某日某BBS求职版有一职:

    “征打字工读生,只要做简单键盘输入即可。”

    一人回应:“我想应征,请将原稿E-MAIL给我。”

    3丶

    毕竟这种病毒是非常危险的。“好时光病毒”会重写硬盘,不仅如此,它还会损坏任何靠近计算机的磁盘。它还会重新设置你冰箱的温度,从而导致所有的冰淇淋都融化了。它还会将你的信用卡消磁,它还会调节你电视机上的磁轨并且损坏你要播放的CD。

    它会把你最新的电话号码给你的前任女朋友;它会喝光你的啤酒而且会当你的同事来时把脏袜子丢在桌子上;它会把一只已死的小猫放在你裤兜里;会当你要迟到时把你的车钥匙藏起来。

    “好时光病毒”会让你爱上一只企鹅,它会让你做噩梦。它会在油箱里加上糖,会在你要和你女朋友约会时偷偷地剃掉你的眉毛。

    “好时光病毒”会企图引诱你的祖母,不论她是否还在世。

    “好时光病毒”会把你放在停车场的车移动位置,这样你很不好找到。它会踢你的狗。它会在你老板的录音电话上以你的声音留下下流的话

    0
     

c
写新的
j
下一篇文章/下一个回复
k
前一篇文章/以前的回复
r
回复
e
编辑
o
显示/隐藏 回复
t
回到顶部
l
go to login
h
show/hide help
shift + esc
取消
Shaun Alexander Jersey