PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/compat.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-list-util.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/option.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-matchesmapregex.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-error.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/cache.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/default-filters.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/l10n.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/l10n.php on line 16

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-locale.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-locale-switcher.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-walker.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-ajax-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/capabilities.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-roles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-role.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/date.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/theme.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/user.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-session-tokens.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user-meta-session-tokens.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/meta.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-meta-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-metadata-lazyloader.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/general-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/author-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-page.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-page-dropdown.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-post-type.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-post.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/revision.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-formats.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-thumbnail-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/category.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-category.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-category-dropdown.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/category-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/rewrite.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-rewrite.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/feed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/bookmark.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/bookmark-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/kses.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/cron.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/deprecated.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/script-loader.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-dependency.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-scripts.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.wp-scripts.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-styles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.wp-styles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 16

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-taxonomy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-term-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-tax-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/update.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/canonical.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/shortcodes.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/embed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-embed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-oembed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-oembed-controller.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/media.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/http.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-http.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-requests.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-streams.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-curl.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-proxy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-cookie.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-encoding.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-requests-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-requests-hooks.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/widgets.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-widget.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-widget-factory.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/nav-menu.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/nav-menu-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-nav-menu.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/admin-bar.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/rest-api.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/vars.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/pluggable.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/pluggable-deprecated.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/default-widgets.php on line 2
phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/template-loader.php on line 2
 视频 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

亲,您需要先 登录|注册 才能分享喔!

点击微博图标,直接登录。否则请输入用户名密码登录。

Tagged: 视频 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • thomasmccollom pm1:36 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: , , , , 视频   

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨! 

      【幽默笑话】最近饮食没控制好,上火了,嘴唇有点肿。老婆拍了张照发了个微信朋友圈:叫你别惹我,你偏惹,这就是下场……今天我看见岳父发了个朋友圈:我可怜的女婿啊,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】带着侄子去见男友,男友对侄子说:我看你像个帅哥。侄子却回答:“远远看你也像帅哥,走近这么一看吧……”男友问:“像什么?”侄子答:“像姑父。”哎呦我的臭小侄子,姑平时没白疼你……

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】手指受伤了,淤血严重,肿了一个月,医生说要做手术取脓。早上男朋友来看我买了好多鸡爪,说可以以形补形。我白了他一眼说:你这是在咒我只剩下四根手指头?男朋友连忙说:那我下次不买鸡爪了,买其他的,买猪蹄!呜呜呜,人家哭的更凶了!

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】昨天去超市买喝的,没找到我要的,打算换家店,不成想在门口遇到了前任。出于礼貌,跟他打了个招呼:“呵呵,好巧啊!” 他也尴尬的回道:“是啊,好久不见!” 看着他手里的拿着的,不正是我最爱的那款饮料吗? 似乎察觉到了我的目光,一把将饮料塞到我手里,说道:“请你喝吧,你还是那么喜欢这款饮料,一点没变。”这时候,一个女人的声音传来,“亲爱的,买到我要的那个口味了吗?” 只见前任立马夺过我手里的饮料,笑眯眯来了句:“多谢妹子愿意把这瓶饮料让给我啊!”……这是什么人啊,这么善变!

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】一直以为大长腿,倒锥形网红脸只存在于小视频中,没想到今天我墙纸店就来了这样一位,进门就冲我喊:老板,我要换电视墙墙纸。我忙凑上前去……啧啧!头顶也就跟人家耳根齐,闻着美女身上散发的香味,短短一瞬间,别说送两卷电视墙墙纸,连以身相许的心都有了。美女微笑说:大哥,别靠太近太热情,要买的不热情也要买,不买的你靠进怀里也罔然。一语惊醒梦中人,我赶紧收敛心神明白:一切都特么浮云,唯有把生意做成了才是王道!

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】晚上和朋友喝完酒,我自己打车回家,刚上出租车,司机就问我:''小伙子,你是不是喝酒了?''我有点惊讶:''呦!师傅您这鼻子够灵的,都闻见我身上的酒味了?''司机说:'' 闻个屁啊!你从我车顶上下来先!''

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】大年初二,我妈早早把我叫起来,我困不想起,我妈就扔给我一个红包,让我立刻马上起来。看见红包我当然起的飞快,而且嬉笑着问,妈,怎么这么大方了,昨天给了今天又给。我妈说,待会儿你的堂弟堂妹们,都要带着对象来咱家玩,你一个单身狗,我怕你尴尬,也嫌你丢人,红包里的是网费,你去网吧躲躲吧。

    0
     
  • franciscofulkers pm4:53 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 视频   

    笑话:我可以满足你一个愿望,说吧 

      1、灯神问我:“我可以满足你一个愿望,说吧!”

      我不假思索的回答:“我要长生不老!”

      灯神摇头:“不行,凡人不能长生不老!”

      我:“那就让我活到,中国足球获得世界杯冠军吧!”

      灯神怒:“小子,别给我耍小心眼,这他妈和要求长生不老有什么区别?”

      2、刚刚去超市买零食,老板娘忘了少找我十块钱死活不承认,这时候老板回来了,老板倒还挺好说话,说调监控看看就知道了嘛,然后就快进快进的看,结果快进多了,视频出现了老板娘跟一男亲热的画面。现在老板和老板娘都打起来了,我那十块钱还要不要了?

      3、昨天送女同事回家,她邀请我上去坐坐,我去了,毕竟是女孩闺房,气氛很浪漫,我们一边喝茶一边不痛不痒地聊着,她轻启红唇,突然说:“lenovo”我:“啊?”她又说:“lenovo”我:“什么?”她脸色一变:“我说你可以回家了。”我回家后才明白,后悔死了。

    0
     
  • jeannapuig350 pm1:30 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , 视频   

    买烟都没钱了,谢谢媳妇给的烟钱啊 

      1、搞笑段子:情人节了,我琢磨着给老公个什么礼物,想了好久不知道送什么,无意中看到个视频,用纸币折小心心的,对,就送这个!跟着视频学了几个小时,终于折出来几个了,兴奋地拿给老公,老公接过小心心,开心地在我脸上吧唧一口,就跑了出去,过了会,嘴里叼了根烟,手里拿了包槟榔回来,开心地对我说:这两天把钱都输光了,买烟都没钱了,谢谢媳妇给的烟钱啊!

      2、搞笑段子:周末,中午懒得做饭,拉上老公去拉面馆吃饭。点了两碗拉面,两瓶可乐。面很快上桌了,我俩狼吞虎咽很快吃完了,可乐还没上,老公就把拉面的钱结了,准备走人。老板娘说你们还点了可乐呢,然后她华丽丽的走进隔壁小卖部,买了两瓶可乐递给我们……

      3、搞笑段子:刚刚离异的女同学半夜来电:“……是谁说的‘抓住了男人的胃,就是抓住了男人的心?’我都练成三级大厨了,两个男人都找了比我小7、8岁的小姑娘跑了!”“大姐,人家说让你练厨艺,也没人让你练成大厨的体格啊?”

    0
     
  • thomasmccollom pm2:42 on 2019年2月13日
    标签: , , 视频   

    妈,我过年红包都在你那,你现在发100给我 

      胖香

      哥们春节放了7天假,他每天都在家里陪媳妇胖香,足不出户。

      胖香感动的抱着他说:“老公,你对我真好。”

      哥们说:“以前工作忙没时间陪你,我就想多弥补弥补。”

      ‘’真的?‘’,香香感动的热泪盈眶,“老公,你会永远爱我吗?”

      “当然。”

      “你会包容我所有的错吗?”

      “嗯,你做错什么我都不会怪你”

      “那,老公,老王在柜子里四天了我怕他饿死,能让他先回家吗?”

      小冰曰:好久没有胖香的消息了!

      群演

      我妹夫开电动车店,顺带维修。一个男孩骑着电动车到店门口,跟他妈妈视频:“妈,我过年红包都在你那,你现在发100给我,我要修车!”我妹夫赶紧准备工具…男孩用手机收了钱,车也不修,就骑走了……我妹夫拿着工具站在门口凌乱了很久…

      小冰曰:怎么也得给你妹夫一份吧!群演还管盒饭呢~

      静音

      大过年的闺蜜和他老公就为了到底去哪家过春节吵架了。

      闺蜜向我哭诉道:“我心里难受啊!他现在变了,以前都是立刻跑来哄我的!

      你看我这镯子,上次吵架买的,这项链,上上次吵架买的,还有这坠子……

      唉,他要不来哄我,我就把这些都卖了,就在你这过春节,天天请你吃好的,对了,我电话关机了,他可能打你电话,你盯着点!”

      我点了点头,然后默默的把手机静音了!

      小冰曰:别静音啊,直接飞行模式,想想好吃的就心动!

    0
     
  • wilmern228 pm12:16 on 2019年2月12日
    标签: 视频   

    中国人人习武 

    1丶

    今天一位美国同学问我在中国是不是人人习武,我说当然啊,他不信。

    我就给他看了个视频,他就佩服的五体投地,说中国人果然是自幼习武。

    在他满怀崇敬的走开以后,我关掉了这个叫做“全国中小学生第八套广播体操”的视频。

    2丶

    鸠山由纪夫宣布辞去日本首相职务,我老婆问我,鸠山辞职,为什么由纪夫宣布?

    3丶

    句号(。):俺最大的优点就是虚“心”,而不是“心虚”,说话、办事和行文,如果没有俺那就不叫圆满。

    0
     
  • lakeshavenn2 am11:40 on 2019年2月12日
    标签: 视频   

    另类”老板“ 

    1丶

    饭桌上,小明在与大家对着大家吹嘘:“我底下有近千名员工。”

    大家一听,连连赞到:“他还这么年轻,真是有本事,厉害啊!”接着小明由于尿急,去上厕所了。

    这时在席间的同事小华笑道:“你们知道吗,小明是个打字员,他的工作地点在第38层商务楼!”

    2丶

    老师:同学们,视频中的老爷爷用将近两个小时的时间,结合个人的经历,谈到了学习、生活、及如何对待工作和怎样正确理解人与人之间的关系等,内容可谓丰富。那么大家听了之后有什么想法呢?黄小勇你来说一下。

    黄小勇:我觉得这位老爷爷上辈子可能是个哑巴。

    老师:为什么?

    黄小勇:他说这么多话,是不是想着把上辈子没说的话都给补上啊。

    3丶

    玉兔精:唐长老,你就从了我吧!

    唐僧:不行,我身为佛门弟子,怎么可以行这种大逆不道之事!

    玉兔精:那八戒哥哥,你陪我好不好?

    猪八戒:不行,我已经改邪归正了!

    玉兔精看了一眼沙僧,又看了一眼孙悟空,叹了口气走了!

    这时,唐僧走过来搂住孙悟空的腰,道:亲爱的,再给我看一下你另一根金箍棒吧!

    同时,沙僧看向猪八戒:八戒哥哥,过来,过来…

    突然,天空,玉兔精又回来了:好啊你们,不是说佛门弟子吗?怎么还这么恩爱….

    唐僧淡然而笑:佛说不可碰女人,又没说不可以搞基…..

    0
     
  • revamacneil759 pm3:26 on 2019年2月11日
    标签: , 视频   

    丰胸 

    1丶

    张静:我要去丰胸,不管多少钱。

    女伴:你是想吸引男人吧!

    张静:昨天一个小伙说,我是太平公主,他的老二提不起劲。我要是有篮球大的胸,他就有球必硬了。

    女伴:你真有那么大的胸,肯定买不到胸罩穿。

    张静:大不了买篮球框网穿。

    2丶

    甲乙丙哥三是社会名流,都喜欢硕大的胸器,又都上过当!

    甲:你说上次我的女朋友,我被她胸器迷住,没有想到是假的,第二天起来,胸跑后背去了,成驼背了!

    乙:我上次领的女朋友,胸器更大,造假更严重。我领她到西瓜地选一个西瓜,没有想到胸跑腹部去了。种瓜的非说她偷一个西瓜。

    丙:你们这都不算啥,上次我遇见个女的,胸器更大,哪知道是硅胶做的!和她坐飞机,那天赶上气压低,她的胸器中的硅胶再也收缩不了,直接爆炸了!

    3丶

    和伙计一块看视频,女汉子胸口碎大石!

    看完视频,伙计大叫:妈蛋,骗子!

    我:哪骗人啦,大石不都碎了吗?

    伙计:胸呢?……

    0
     
  • jianjian am11:46 on 2019年2月11日
    标签: , 视频   

    她的心胸就很宽广 

    1丶

    男人玩游戏很激情,各种辱骂各种嚣张,甚至有些女的也是!而我的女朋友也玩游戏她的心胸就很宽广,从不辱骂队友或是别的什么,因为她只砸电脑!

    2丶

    军训点名,教官没念到我,却说:“xx又没来。”
    我觉得他可能是瞎,就大声讲:“教官,你漏点了!”
    教官一惊,赶紧用双手护住自己的胸部。

    3丶

    今天和好久不见的女同学视频聊天。
    我对她说:“我有好多心里话想对你说,今天就趁这个机会咱们敞开胸怀的说吧。”
    刚说完,她脱了上衣:“都老同学了,一小时收你50吧。”

    0
     
  • ceciliamuniz4 pm4:35 on 2019年2月8日
    标签: 视频   

    动物高考 

    1

    长颈鹿走出了考场,一脸无奈。

    鹿妈妈:考的怎么样?

    长颈鹿:肯定黄了。

    鹿妈妈:为什么?

    长颈鹿:运气不好,坐在第一排。

    2

    小蜗牛在考场外急的太哭了。

    老师问:你怎么了?

    小蜗牛:我的准考证落在家里了,

    我爸爸回去帮我取,到现在还没有回来。

    3

    小兔子来到了学校准备考试。

    老师关心地问:我很担心你。

    小兔子:为什么?

    老师:因为你又熬夜看书了。

    4

    老师告诫老鼠:你不能下座位去偷看答案了。

    老鼠:为什么?

    老师:因为考场里都安装了视频监控。

    5

    场外监控老师发现一个考场的老师晕倒了,赶紧叫医生来处理。

    医生赶过来进行了仔细的检查,然后说:他没有生命危险,抬到外面呼吸一个新鲜空气就好了。

    监控老师:他是怎么晕倒的?

    医生:你看看考场内就知道了。

    监控老师探头一看,考场内坐着黄鼠狼、臭虫、屎壳郎、蛆、苍蝇……

    6

    监考老师走到螃蟹的身边,发现有问题。

    老师:同学你好,你的试卷会作废的。

    螃蟹:为什么?

    老师:答案要横着写,你全部写成竖的了!

    7

    北极熊向考委会提要求:我要一间专门的考场。

    考委会:为什么?

    北极熊:没有冷气,我怎么受得了?!

    8

    公鸡嬉笑着对老师说:可不可以给我加十分。

    老师问:为什么要给你加分?

    公鸡道:因为我今天一早就叫大家起床了,如果不是我,大家都会迟到。

    9

    监考老师告诉场外监督员:

    考场内有一个考生一直在睡觉,叫医生过来看看他有没有病?

    监督员:好的。

    医生来了,检查后说:他没病。

    监考老师上去查看考场秩序册,原来睡觉的是猪……

    0
     
  • ceciliamuniz4 am10:24 on 2019年2月7日
    标签: 视频   

    淘宝对话 

    1丶

    第一次在淘宝上买东西,问:你这个被子盖着爽吗?

    卖家:亲!很爽的!

    我:你男的女的?

    卖家:男的!

    我:滚,臭变态!

    第二次买,我问:你这MP4清晰不?

    卖家:亲!我这PP很好的,保证一清二楚!

    我:你的女的?

    卖家:女的哦!

    我:那我们视频吧,我看你PP清楚不,顺便亲亲!

    卖家:臭流氓,滚!

    2丶

    笔记本电脑对电视说:大哥OUT了吧!有了我们小巧灵活,方便携带,美丽动人,功能优越的电脑谁还愿意看你们这些老古董啊!

    电视对笔记本电脑说:小妹这年头古董比新货值钱,这都不知道还出来混呢!断奶了吗?靠让人随便摸,随便打赢得市场还好意思张扬!

    空调对电风扇说:哥们儿只对人摇头摆尾,点头哈腰是不够的,关键时刻还得靠实力说话,所以人们才会重用我们空调。

    电风扇对空调说:我们才是忠心为人类服务的,人类早晚会发现我们的好,夏天太贪凉对健康有害,哪像你们就会显摆自己风大,把人们都吹成了空调病。

    微波炉对电滋炉说:老兄你火力太猛了,人们用你做点东西还得翻来翻去的,一不小心就得糊锅,多累啊!

    电滋炉对微波炉说:兄弟你不就会发点热吗?人们还不是把用我们煎炒烹炸吃剩下的东西用你来热乎一下,牛什么呀!

    3丶

    某一炎热天,一位男经常在家只穿裤头在阳台晾被子不小心掉楼下邻居的阳台上晾衣架上,就对楼下喊,“喂,楼下有人吗,我的被子掉你阳台啦,你能送上来吗?”

    这会一女伸出头说道:“自己下来拿。”

    “我不方便下去,我没穿衣服。”

    只听下面女大叫:“妈的,我也没穿衣服,难道叫我上去找你。”

    男无语。。。。。。

    0
     

c
写新的
j
下一篇文章/下一个回复
k
前一篇文章/以前的回复
r
回复
e
编辑
o
显示/隐藏 回复
t
回到顶部
l
go to login
h
show/hide help
shift + esc
取消
Shaun Alexander Jersey