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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
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Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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 苹果 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

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Tagged: 苹果 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • byronfalkiner pm2:16 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: 苹果   

    给老公熬的苹果汤,巨有价值的 

    给老公熬的苹果汤,巨有价值的

    0
     
  • pkxhildegard pm1:33 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 苹果   

    民间高手啊 苹果雕成艺术品的绝活 

    民间高手啊 苹果雕成艺术品的绝活

    0
     
  • marlonhersh pm4:28 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 苹果   

    网迷的表现 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    不仅要亲吻女朋友,还要亲吻女朋友的主页。

    书签从头浏览到尾需要至少15分钟。

    度假目的地如果没有电、没有电话线就不去。

    度假之前先买一块PCMCIA的Modem卡和一台笔记本。

    白日梦的内容就是如何获得更快的连接:28.8、ISDN、CableModem、T1、T3……晚上做梦都是HTML格式的。

    每次看到书面或电视上一个新的www地址的时候都会心跳加快,而且不规律。

    所有的朋友名字里都有一个“@”字符。

    连狗都有自己的主页。

    如果你的母亲没有Modem,就无法和她老人家联系。

    嘲笑那些使用2400波特率Modem的人们。

    妻子定下一条规则:计算机不许上床。

    已经浏览过了Yahoo!的全部连接,Lycos引擎也还差一半就完成了。

    最亲近的几个朋友的性别对你来说是个谜,因为他们的绰号都是中性的,看不出性别,你也不敢问。

    每周因为从Apogee下载最新的游戏而耽误至少五顿晚餐。

    朋友不再给你发电子邮件,直接登陆到你的IRC频道上。

    对于WWW太熟悉了,以至于搜索引擎完全变成了废物。

    最爱的女孩是JPEG格式的。

    即使在已经连入Internet以后仍然让Modem喇叭开着的,认为那时轻柔的海风,作为浏览的伴奏音乐。

    奇怪为什么ISP把每月200小时的访问时间就敢称为“不限时间”。

    妻子说:“婚姻中沟通很重要,你就去再拉一根电话线,装一台机器,两人联机Chat。”

    2丶

    mac机第n代.代号G8.

    在中国的G8发布会上,苹果公司宣称:要让世界上的电脑设计者都爽它一回,大家都来用G8(台下大笑).

    两电脑平面设计师的对话:

    "平时干活我用的是奔7,你用的什么呀?."

    "我用G8".

    "什么???那…觉得怎样?"

    "蛮爽地!很快,非常快!"

    "哪到底是多少下,8下吗?"

    3丶

    业务:一般软件术语有……

    客户:哦!我懂了,“试用版”就是谈恋爱,“注册版”就是结婚了,“标准版”就是生儿育女
    了,“专业版”就是老夫老妻,就这些?

    业务:还有,“升级版”……

    客户:就是婚外恋!

    业务:还有“盗版”……

    客户:就是偷情!

    业务:还有“限次版”……

    客户:就是一夜情!

    业务:还有“加密版”……

    客户:应该坐牢了吧?!

    0
     
  • alisagooseberry pm12:57 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , 苹果   

    想吃两块 

    1丶

    妈妈:皮埃尔,你想吃一块甜饼吗?
      皮埃尔没反应,妈妈又问:皮埃尔,你想吃一块甜饼吗?
      皮埃尔说:想吃,妈妈。
      妈妈说:为什么非要我问你两遍呢?
      皮埃尔:因为我想吃两块。

    2丶

    有一个精神病患自认是上帝,被送进疗养院后,任旧自称是上帝。
      医生又花了近半年的时间,加以诊治,发现他的情况颇有改善,于是便召他到办公室加以检视。
      医生拿着圣经,在病人面前读着创世纪,病人仅是微笑点头,没有作声,等到医师念到夏娃受到蛇的诱惑,吃了生命树上的苹果时,病人说:“你错了,夏娃吃的不是苹果,是香蕉。”
      医生说:“圣经上明明写的是苹果,怎会是香蕉呢?”
      病人笑着说:“香蕉是我拿给夏娃吃的,我怎么会弄错?”

    3丶

    在世界上还只有亚当和夏娃的时候,有几天亚当夜不归宿,夏娃感到很伤心。
      她抱怨地对亚当说 :“你一定在外面有了别的女人了。”
      亚当反驳说:“你这个人真是不可理喻,世界上只有你一个女 人啊。”然后亚当睡着了。
      忽然,亚当感到胸口很痛,原来是夏娃在捅他。
      他生气地吼道:“你在干什么?”
      夏娃回答:“ 在数你的肋骨。”

    0
     
  • joannt170527565 am10:06 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , 苹果   

    幽默吃货之间的羡慕 

    1、石榴:真羡慕花生,住的是两居室,条件好的还是两室一厅,不像我,一大家子挤集体宿舍。

    2、花生:我羡慕瓜子,一人一间房,住着舒服,不像我,还要合租。

    3、瓜子:我羡慕馒头,长得又白又丰满。

    4、馒头:我羡慕包子,不仅烫的发型巨漂亮,而且肚子里还有货。

    5、包子:我羡慕方便面,自从烫了“大波浪”后,便天天有人“泡”。

    6、方便面:我羡慕麻花儿,那小辫子梳得太有女人味儿了。

    7、麻花:我羡慕油条,那小辫子儿比我的粗多了。

    8、油条:我羡慕臭豆腐,虽然身上的味儿不纯,却依然惹人喜爱。

    9、臭豆腐:我羡慕芥末,总是能够让人感动得泪流满面。

    10、芥末:我羡慕土豆,典型的百变女郎,想变薯片变薯片,想变薯条变薯条,还可以变成土豆泥。

    11、薯条:我羡慕西红柿,一看就是混娱乐圈的超级明星,相当红。

    12、西红柿:我羡慕葡萄,人家可是真真正正红得发紫。

    13、葡萄:我羡慕红枣,不仅红,而且甜美,更重要的是有人“捧”。

    14、红枣:我羡慕西瓜,不光跟杨贵妃似的,长得丰满,而且人家还有一颗红心!

    15、西瓜:我羡慕板栗,有人争着对它进行“炒”作。

    16、板栗:我羡慕桂圆,表面看上去比较瘦小,但“内心”比较强大。

    17、桂圆:我羡慕苹果,个头那么大,皮肤那么好,水灵灵的。

    18、苹果:我羡慕香肠,身材修长,还穿着漂亮的透明“丝袜”。

    19、香肠:我羡慕火腿肠,穿的袜子比我的丝袜有品位多了,是让人眼馋的红色长袜。

    0
     
  • enucristine am9:49 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 苹果   

    小孩子都是小吃货 

    1、一天,爸爸问三岁的儿子长大了想当什么,儿子毫不犹豫地回答说:“我想当小狗!”
    爸爸急忙问原因,儿子解释说:“当了小狗,可以顿顿都吃肉骨头了。”

    2、一天,电视里说到离婚,爸爸便问三岁的儿子:“你知道离婚是什么意思吗?”
    儿子说:“离?妈妈,我想吃梨。。。”

    3、睡觉前,女儿要吃苹果,我哄她说:“苹果里面有虫子,明天妈妈把虫子洗掉了你再吃。”
    女儿:“妈妈,你敢快让我吃了吧,明天苹果都被虫子吃光了。”

    4、岁半的小侄子是个小吃货,无论什么都想尝一尝,什么事情都能想到吃。
    他知道家里冰箱上放有吃的,但是他太矮了,够不着。
    他也挺能想办法,站在旁边的餐椅上,踮着脚尖伸长手臂够。
    奶奶看见了,赶紧跑过去把他抱下来:“小乖乖,一旦掉下来头上就摔个大包啊!”
    他接道:“不摔大包,摔个大饺子。”

    0
     
  • rudyqav0587 pm5:17 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 苹果   

    吃出笑来的无敌吃货 

    1、想舀一勺洗衣粉洗衣服的,结果一走神送嘴里去了……

    2、养了半年多的鱼死了,我伤心极了,心想一定要给它办个隆重的葬礼,埋土里吧,怕猫挖;水葬吧,怕被螃蟹夹。。。
    再三考虑后决定给它办个火葬,于是抱来柴火和打火机,谁知道特么的越烤越香。。。算了,还是食葬吧!!!

    3、人的潜力真是无限的,比如你晚上自认为已经吃的很饱,但是现在有人请你烧烤,你还是能吃几十串的。

    4、个人感觉那些“你是我的小苹果”、“你是我的棉花糖”之类的歌词一点诚意都没有,从份量和味道各方面来说,都不如“你是我的小龙虾”、“你是我的酱猪蹄”来得实在。

    5、不行了。。我。。。我真的撑不下去了。
    她啜泣着把脸埋进了双手,我拍着她的肩膀鼓励她:“你可以的。。。一定要撑下去啊!难道你忘了开始时我俩一起许下的誓言了么?这可是200一个人的自助餐啊!”

    以吃为中心,吃货笑死人

    0
     
  • 12345 pm12:38 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 苹果   

    卫生间里有豆逼更有爆笑的 

    1丶

    去卫生间抽烟,突然响起了小苹果的音乐,我情不自禁的跳了起来。

    过了大约三十秒,后面弱弱的来了一句:哥们,跳完了没,跳完了我好接电话。。。

    2丶

    有个人问他的朋友:“你为什么一抽烟就笑,是不是烟很香啊?”朋友回答:“哪里,我刚看到书上说,抽一支香烟减寿5秒,笑一笑则长寿10秒,所以每次抽烟我就要笑一笑,为生命赚回5秒钟。”

    3丶

    有位画家上课时.对学生在画室抽烟无法容忍。
    有一次,一个学生在苦思冥想中偷偷摸出一支烟点燃,正好给他看见了。
    他神情严肃地走过去,用讽刺的口吻问学生:“您这支神奇的笔,打算用它来画什么呢?”
    学生急中生智道:“云,云啊!教授先生。”

    0
     
  • alisagooseberry am9:17 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , , , 苹果,   

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全 

      幽默笑话上篇:

      1、昨天我点了个外卖,开门拿外卖的时候,刚好看到对门的夫妻吵架,我提着外卖刚要开门,忽然那男的冲我跑了过来,直接夺走了我手上的外卖,小声对我说:明天给你钱,然后转身跑回家对那女的说:“老婆,外卖到了,咱先吃,吃完再吵!”我……

      

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全

      2、那年和母亲一起去岳母家,半路在一个商店买烟 ,买了一盒一块四角的香烟和一盒五分的火柴 ,给了店主十元。母亲只上过两个月的一年级,只会口算,还是念出声那种。只听母亲口里念到:十元减一元剩九元,一元减四角剩六角,一元减四角五分就剩五角五分,你找我九元五角五分,于是店主给了我们九元五角五分,回去后总感觉哪里不对……

      3、老婆让儿子去买五斤苹果回来榨苹果汁,结果回来一称,只有四斤半,她便带着儿子来到苹果摊前问摊主:“你怎么能够缺斤短两,五斤的苹果连四斤半还不到,是不是看他是个孩子好骗啊?”摊主满脸委屈的说道:“我没有缺斤短两呀,你称过你的孩子没有,是不是他增重了?”老婆瞬间不知道该说什么了……

      

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全

      4、昨天和哥们儿聚会,一哥们喝醉了,酒醒后拿出手机发现有37个未接来电,全是他女朋友打的。只见他想了一下,然后果断关机拿出SIM卡扔掉,又去办了个新号给女朋友打过去,和他女朋友说:“我手机卡损坏了……所以换了个号码。”打完电话后看着我们淡淡的说了一句:“能用一百块钱解决的事情,干嘛要花更多的钱去哄她呢。”当时我们觉得他好聪明啊……

      

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全

      5、一天,妈妈在外面玩,感觉冷,就让我去卧室给她拿外套。然后,妈妈发现外套里的五十元钱不见了!她说:“只有你拿了我的衣服,肯定就是你偷的。”我被打她打了一顿,但我就是不承认,妈妈也没法,就让我在地上跪着!跪了一个多小时,堂弟被他妈打到我家来了,手里拿着我妈那五十元钱。瞬间觉得自己好委屈啊…..

      幽默笑话下篇:

      1、早上,老妈让老爸去菜市买鱼,路上老爸遇上一个同村人正要去钓鱼,那人自称是钓鱼高手,他自信地对老爸说:“我每次都能钓到满满一桶鱼!你给我100块,今天我钓到的鱼都给你了”! 老爸还真信了,给了他一百,然后在那等了一天,最后那所谓的钓鱼高手只钓到了一条一斤多的鲤鱼!老爸只好无奈的拿着那条鱼回家了……

      

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全

      2、儿子上二年级的时候,开学的第二周正好是教师节。老师发了一个小卡片,让写上最想对老师说的话,第二天交上去。放学后,儿子问:“妈妈,我写啥好啊?”我说:“写自己心里最想说的话就好。”第二天下午放学,我接到老师的电话,让我去学校一趟,因为儿子只写了四个字:“我要退学。”我直接无语了……

      3、最近在网上新学了个旋转判断鸡蛋生熟的方法,决定亲自教给儿子。于是,我拿了俩鸡蛋给儿子,让他判断哪个是生的哪个是熟的。 儿子接过鸡蛋,不假思索地回答:“右边这个。” 我惊讶地问:“你怎么知道的?”儿子:“这个摸着热。” 我竟无言以对了……

      

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全

      4、大学新生入学军训,站军姿的时候,教官说:“眼睛要盯着前方树林的某一颗树,身体就不会晃动了。”说完他就在队伍面前走来走去,一边帮人纠正姿势,突然队伍中一女生头动了一下,教官生气地吼道:“动什么动,刚说的都忘了吗?”只见那女同学回答道:“教官,你挡着我看的那颗树了。”教官……

      

    2019年最新收集幽默笑话大全

      5、天气变冷,我织了一条围巾送给了男朋友。男友收到以后,夸奖我说:“恩,手艺真不错,我很喜欢这个渔网!”瞬间感觉自己好无奈啊……

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  • adriannedeyoung am10:34 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: , 苹果   

    未来姐夫你还能再无聊点吗? 

      1.妈妈让儿子去买五斤苹果回来榨苹果汁,结果回来一称,只有四斤半,便带着儿子来到苹果摊前质问:“你怎么能够缺斤短两,五斤的苹果连四斤半还不到,是不是看他是个孩子好骗啊?”摊主满脸委屈的说道:“我没有缺斤短两呀,你称过你的孩子没有,是不是他增重了?”

      2.看见姐姐在流泪,我问:“怎么了?”姐姐说:“男朋友向我告白了,还给了一个戒指盒说是要我感动流泪。”我说:“可以啊,真的流泪了?”我姐愤怒地骂道:“什么感动啊!我打开戒指盒一看,他送的洋葱!”未来姐夫你还能再无聊点吗?

      3.睡觉前爸爸对儿子说:“明天考试,如果你考到班级前3名,爸爸奖励你一百元。”儿子高兴坏了。爸爸说:“好了,早点睡觉吧,只有养精蓄锐才能考好。”儿子说:“爸爸,我睡不着。”爸爸问:“为啥睡不着?”儿子说:“奖励一百元,不知你说话算不算数?”爸爸说:“一诺千金,老爸说的话绝对算数。赶紧睡吧!”儿子说:“爸爸,我还是睡不着。”爸爸说:“又怎么了。”儿子说:“我在想,这一百元奖金应该怎么花?”

    0
     

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