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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
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PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
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c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
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PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
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Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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 红包 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

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Tagged: 红包 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • joannt170527565 pm2:00 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: , 红包   

    幽默笑话:侄子给我要压岁钱 

      【幽默笑话】实在太冷了,在婆家也不可能一整天躲被窝。每天下午陪十一个月小崽子睡午觉是最幸福的时光。每当小崽子迷迷糊糊睁开眼,我都惊恐万分:“崽啊,再睡睡,崽啊,你再好好考虑考虑,睡觉多暖和啊!”然后我崽由迷糊到完全清醒就几秒的时间,给我个类似于白眼的眼神,不畏严寒一骨碌坐起来,回头看我没动静,接着慢慢爬到冰凉凉的地板上,开始一边爬一边哇哇哭!

      【幽默笑话】我弟的事,之前谈婚论嫁的一个姑娘,彩礼钱是按我们那边最高标准准备的,家里装修家电什么都是准备好的。结婚前两周,女方要求上车费8万8,理由是给她弟弟堂弟表弟一人2万2。太扯了!弟弟找她谈了几次,都没谈拢。我爸妈操心的整晚整晚的睡不好觉。弟弟一生气也不结了,而且把彩礼钱给要回来了。现在重新找的弟妹人长的丑还懒,整天抱着手机呵呵的啥也不管,现在我弟天天以泪洗面。现在他也明白了,上帝给你关上了一扇门,还会顺带着夹一下你的脑袋!

      【幽默笑话】侄子给我要压岁钱。我问他,按一岁二十块,我该给你多少的红包?侄子说,我九岁,二九一百八,你该给我一百八,你难不倒我的,我记忆力好着呢!我对他一阵夸,他开开心心跑走了,忘了红包的事儿了……

    0
     
  • thomasmccollom pm1:36 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: , , , 红包,   

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨! 

      【幽默笑话】最近饮食没控制好,上火了,嘴唇有点肿。老婆拍了张照发了个微信朋友圈:叫你别惹我,你偏惹,这就是下场……今天我看见岳父发了个朋友圈:我可怜的女婿啊,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】带着侄子去见男友,男友对侄子说:我看你像个帅哥。侄子却回答:“远远看你也像帅哥,走近这么一看吧……”男友问:“像什么?”侄子答:“像姑父。”哎呦我的臭小侄子,姑平时没白疼你……

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】手指受伤了,淤血严重,肿了一个月,医生说要做手术取脓。早上男朋友来看我买了好多鸡爪,说可以以形补形。我白了他一眼说:你这是在咒我只剩下四根手指头?男朋友连忙说:那我下次不买鸡爪了,买其他的,买猪蹄!呜呜呜,人家哭的更凶了!

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】昨天去超市买喝的,没找到我要的,打算换家店,不成想在门口遇到了前任。出于礼貌,跟他打了个招呼:“呵呵,好巧啊!” 他也尴尬的回道:“是啊,好久不见!” 看着他手里的拿着的,不正是我最爱的那款饮料吗? 似乎察觉到了我的目光,一把将饮料塞到我手里,说道:“请你喝吧,你还是那么喜欢这款饮料,一点没变。”这时候,一个女人的声音传来,“亲爱的,买到我要的那个口味了吗?” 只见前任立马夺过我手里的饮料,笑眯眯来了句:“多谢妹子愿意把这瓶饮料让给我啊!”……这是什么人啊,这么善变!

      

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】一直以为大长腿,倒锥形网红脸只存在于小视频中,没想到今天我墙纸店就来了这样一位,进门就冲我喊:老板,我要换电视墙墙纸。我忙凑上前去……啧啧!头顶也就跟人家耳根齐,闻着美女身上散发的香味,短短一瞬间,别说送两卷电视墙墙纸,连以身相许的心都有了。美女微笑说:大哥,别靠太近太热情,要买的不热情也要买,不买的你靠进怀里也罔然。一语惊醒梦中人,我赶紧收敛心神明白:一切都特么浮云,唯有把生意做成了才是王道!

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】晚上和朋友喝完酒,我自己打车回家,刚上出租车,司机就问我:''小伙子,你是不是喝酒了?''我有点惊讶:''呦!师傅您这鼻子够灵的,都闻见我身上的酒味了?''司机说:'' 闻个屁啊!你从我车顶上下来先!''

    幽默笑话精选:可怜的女婿,你到底做错了什么,竟然这么惨!

      【幽默笑话】大年初二,我妈早早把我叫起来,我困不想起,我妈就扔给我一个红包,让我立刻马上起来。看见红包我当然起的飞快,而且嬉笑着问,妈,怎么这么大方了,昨天给了今天又给。我妈说,待会儿你的堂弟堂妹们,都要带着对象来咱家玩,你一个单身狗,我怕你尴尬,也嫌你丢人,红包里的是网费,你去网吧躲躲吧。

    0
     
  • MusicianXL am9:26 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: 红包   

    老婆和我说要跨年礼物,我给她发了个88.88的红包 

      身为福建人的我,对央视春晚心里满满的都是愤怒: 今莲的春晚,黑我们胡建人普通发,太过混了,不胡气啊,都在森气中!想起10几莲前,我从钱州(泉州)去山东上鞋,老丝让全班童鞋相副介绍,我说钱州天气灰藏苏胡,海鲜很多,拌调尿更好吃,童鞋们老调侃我,真想一脚踢灰他们。想想也没关系,是金子迟早会花光的!

      老婆和我说要跨年礼物,我给她发了个88.88的红包,老婆一下生气了,喊着问我,我在你心里就值88块钱?这时候旁边边的女儿赶紧帮我说话:妈妈你还不明白吗?爸爸这是在变相的夸你变瘦了,你想想按最便宜的肉算,88块钱才能买多少斤肉……老婆一下子高兴的不得了……

      下班了我在路上溜达,我妈打电话给我,喜滋滋叫我快点回去,估计又是给我介绍对象,我问:“那姑娘怎么样?”我妈说好的不得了!就挂电话了。我赶紧回到家,爸妈都不在家,打电话过去,她那里很热闹,她说:“你小姨终于心想事成生了个闺女,我跟你爸在医院里,你快点煮饭,大黄肯定饿了!”

    0
     
  • angelicaledbette pm4:02 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , 红包   

    幽默笑话:那年还在电动车厂上班,我小电驴的充电器坏了 

      【幽默笑话】那年还在电动车厂上班,我小电驴的充电器坏了,我们仓库的架子上有五个充电器,型号跟我的一样……我寻思偷偷拿一个算了,可要是少一个的话,他们一盘点会发现的。我趁仓库的人不在,偷偷把一块砖头藏在怀里,想来个“狸猫换太子”,打开第一个盒子,里面装的就是块砖头,我又连续打开那几个,里面全是砖头。

      【幽默笑话】生日前一天,老公再三小心翼翼问我要不要礼物,我都说不要了,到了晚上他提前下班回家说给我做长寿面,方法网上学的,让我就等着吃,倒腾半个多小时,一碗火锅底料拌面上面贴了一块鸡蛋的长寿面摆到我的面前,看了这碗面我觉得他应该不希望我长寿的。

      【幽默笑话】年初七上班,每人领了一百块开工红包,我回家交给了老婆。晚上大伙来我家打麻将,有个女同事自己手气不好,却说我老盯着她来胡。我说:“麻将桌前无父女,谁让你放炮。”她扯着嗓门说:“无所谓,输赢也就几百块,反正今天开工红包有两千块。”

    0
     
  • maxwellbehrens pm2:26 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , 红包   

    搞笑段子:我是个路痴,去老叔家拜年找不到路了 

      搞笑段子:小侄儿在床上吃零食,我想着等下有好戏看了。我在他旁边,等着他被挨说,过了好长时间,他妈也不进来,于是我也抓了一个薯片……随着拖鞋的脚步声由远到近,他麻利的把他吃的食物残,拨到我这边,并迅速的下床,离我远远的……“妈,小姑在床上吃东西……”

      搞笑段子:今天跟女朋友去见未来丈母娘,她一眼就认出我来了,对我的态度真心不错。我能告诉你我上星期花了500块钱请了个人故意去跟未来丈母娘吵架,后来我偶遇出现,把那个人骂了一顿。当时丈母娘还要给我介绍女朋友,被我委婉拒绝了!

      搞笑段子:情人节早上,我想给老婆发个52块的红包,不小心点成了520块。还好我用的手机比较智能,输入密码后,它提醒我可用的余额不足。

      搞笑段子:我是个路痴,去老叔家拜年找不到路了!村口看见个人“大爷,林xx家咋走呀?”大爷:“前走左拐走十米右拐再走二十米就到了!”我:“大爷你这么大岁数记性咋这么好?”大爷:“什么大爷?我是你老叔!你问的是我家!”

    0
     
  • juan073839801293 pm2:19 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 红包   

    30岁,新找了份工作,财务,工资5000 

      搞笑段子:30岁,新找了份工作,财务,工资5000,在我这不知道几线的小城市算是过得去了,可是做了才发现真心忙,原来的数据基本烂摊子,头疼,经常加班,原来的账没整理完,新的账又来了……无数次想辞职。昨天老板又找我要以前数据的统计表,我讲了难处以后,老板讲了些把他以前的账务弄清楚绝不会亏待我之类的空话,我居然感动得打鸡血一样又跑来加班了。

      搞笑段子:记得那年情人节,我单着!我在同事群里吼:我发一百红包,谁领谁跟我走!然后,我发错发成一块,被现在的老婆领了!明天情人节到了,我问老婆,当初那么多条件比我好的,怎么会选我?老婆笑笑:这个社.会,不要脸的都会发财,当年你说发一百红包然后发一块,那么不要脸,我就没搞明白,你咋还不发财呢?我……

      搞笑段子:当年我上学 ,一次考试,我得了八十分,而同桌闺蜜只得了二十分。我就嘲笑闺蜜,闺蜜说,这是一种均衡,说明上帝是公平的,我颜值八十分,考二十分正常,刚好凑个一百分,至于你,考八十分也是为了弥补你的颜值。我想了一个月才明白,哦,这家伙说我丑……

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  • danilo26u0554 pm1:53 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , , 红包   

    表弟,我看你每天也总在学习,为啥总是被我小姑揍呢? 

      搞笑段子:表弟今年上小学三年级了,而且学习成绩属于中等水平,可是他却经常挨打,这不今天又一次被我小姑给揍了。我看他平时学习也挺用功的,为何总是挨打呢?百思不得其解的情况下,我就打电话问他道:“表弟,我看你每天也总在学习,为啥总是被我小姑揍呢?”表弟一脸委屈地说道:“我也不知道,人家睡觉了都想着学习,而我学着学着就睡着了,我们都是学习中睡觉,为何偏偏是我挨揍?我感觉一点都不公平!”

      搞笑段子:小学的时候就迷上了武侠小说。老爸有很多藏书,我经常偷偷带学校去看!一天在课堂上看时,被老师逮个正着。没收了我的书,带我到他办公室。我以为会是一阵狂风暴雨,没料到老师和颜悦色的说:这书老师也喜欢看,你家里有整套吗?借老师看看,看完还你。

      搞笑段子:弟弟带女友回家拜年,我边吃零食边陪弟弟女友聊天。一会儿我妈过来,她笑着塞给弟弟女友一个大红包,弟弟女友连说不要,我逗我妈:“妈,弟妹不要,那你给我呗。”我妈说:“一边待着去,都老大不小的了,男朋友都没有,要啥红包,天天就知道吃,赶紧帮我做饭去,小美(老弟女友)还没吃饭呢,可别饿坏了我的小美。瞬间觉得自己好委屈。

    0
     
  • johnetterector pm12:37 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 红包   

    蚊子都知道吸烟有害健康 

    1丶

    家住农村,晚上天热,爸爸在院里抽烟,看到儿子腿上被蚊子咬了好几个红包,

    说道:“看,抽烟还是有好处的嘛,都没蚊子咬我。”

    旁边的儿子说:“蚊子都知道吸烟有害健康,你还不知道!”

    2丶

    寝室四个都抽烟,买烟的就我一个!

    每次一包烟开了一天不到就没了,慢慢我也就不买了,大家就都不抽,结果把烟给戒了!

    到了毕业才知道,他们三个其实都不抽,只是不想让我抽而已,就合起伙来想了这么个办法!

    尼玛,满满的套路啊!

    3丶

    一帮男的在路边围着花坛抽烟,并且把烟头都丢在花坛里面去了,不久保洁阿姨过去打扫卫生的时候说

    ,还是没素质的人好,直接丢地上,这些有素质的人,都丢花坛里,唉。。。

    0
     
  • joannt170527565 am8:34 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , 红包   

    春节放假一瞬间 

    1丶

    春节放假一瞬间,七天一过如云烟,  微博号召陪父母,爸妈亲戚走得欢,  三姑六姨认不全,反正家家闪光弹,  严防死守熊孩子,红包还得好几千,  三堂会审年夜饭,人生理想都要谈,  朋友个个都没空,景区只能数人头,  饭馆全都把门关,终于事情都忙完,  明天又要去上班。

    2丶

    春节刚过,第一天上班,中午在公司食堂偶遇财务的漂亮MM。  MM:过年好啊,衰锅,奇怪了,去年你就穿这件红毛衣,怎么今年还穿啊?到底哪一年是你的本命年啊?  我:过年好啊,霉铝,一点也不奇怪,我永远都是24岁,哈哈…

    3丶

    春节过后,语文老师让三个同学用“拜”字组词。  第一个同学说:“拜年。”  第二个同学说:“拜师。”  第三个同学苦思冥想,就是回答不出来。这时,下课铃声响了,他突然来了灵感,随即大声对老师喊道:“拜拜!”

    0
     
  • andretully0 am8:34 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , 红包   

    春节必唱歌曲 

    1丶

    春节必唱歌曲——《我还能孩子多久》  “我还是个孩子,给我个红包好不好~”

    2丶

    春节的时候,三代人在一起聚餐,爷爷说祝词是这样讲的:“世界是我们的,也是你们的。”说到这,指了指第三代的几个,继续说:“世界迟早会是这帮孙子的。”

    3丶

    春节放假回家,在路上,一女猛追一猥琐男,然后上去就是拳打脚踢。  打得该男子跪地求饶,猛女还不停地抽打。  她嘴中喊道:“你偷我钱包就算了,你偷我手机就算了,你居然敢偷我的火车票?简直活腻了!”

    0
     

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