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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
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c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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 福利 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

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Tagged: 福利 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • doreenleung6449 am10:33 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 福利   

    程序员们的福利来了 好激动的啊 

    程序员们的福利来了 好激动的啊

    0
     
  • dessiespooner9 pm12:56 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 福利   

    以前挺喜欢吃M的 

    1丶

    以前挺喜欢吃m的,和一个女性好朋友经常去,我吃的快。都吃完了,她还在那舔甜筒。她边吃我边扣鼻shi,鼻shi扣出来一弹,落在她的甜筒上,我伸手想去告诉她,她以为我想抢她的甜筒,飞快的把甜筒吃光了…

    2丶

    毛毛的父亲从不让孩子在吃饭时时说话。一次吃饭时,父亲见到毛毛很想说话的样子,便对他说:“孩子,你想说什么?”

    “爸爸,苍蝇好吃吗?”毛毛问。

    “不!”父亲说,“你干嘛问这个?”

    “刚才您碟子里有一只,您把它咽下去了。”

    3丶

    俩屎壳螂讨论福利彩票,甲说:我要中了大奖就把方圆50里的厕所都买下来,每天吃个够!乙说:你丫太俗了!我要是中了大奖就包一活人,每天吃新鲜的!

    0
     
  • ludiemackay pm4:35 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: , 福利   

    小刘忙(小流氓),小王吧(小王八) 

    1丶

    办公室主任接了个电话,说是让人去领春节发的福利。让谁去呢?  主任看了看正忙着写工作计划的小刘,又看了看坐一旁的小王,随口说了句:“小刘忙(小流氓),小王吧(小王八)。”  全办公室的人听了都先后笑了,只有主任不知道他们在笑什么。

    2丶

    春节,爸爸到店里看望当小伙计的儿子时,恰好遇见老板。  爸爸对老板说:“我这孩子傻头傻脑的,给您添麻烦了,不对的地方,请您多指教。”  老板表示客气地说:“别看小时候笨,长大了往往会变得聪明起来的;有的人小时候看着倒聪明,可是长大了却变成傻瓜了。”  听了这话后,小伙计忙说:“老板您小时候一定是个聪明的孩子。”

    3丶

    春节,一伙股民朋友聊来年股市趋势,张大嘴说:“我看好今年股市,会牛市。”  董格皮说:“今年是振荡市,我看平。”  孙瘪人说:“我坚持我老祖宗的观点,看空股市。”  他们问:“你的爷爷炒股?”  孙瘪人说:“我的唐朝祖先孙悟空,他不炒股,但坚持看空。”

    0
     
  • jamesgl65421934 pm2:36 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: , 福利   

    双11来临之前,女屌丝拍照福利! 

    双11来临之前,女屌丝拍照福利!

    0
     
  • ludiemackay am11:40 on 2019年2月8日
    标签: 福利   

    拖出去开一刀 

    1丶

    医生选举时,一人说:“我选神外科的原因是,越老福利越多,可以孝顺老人。”  一神外科著名大夫甲说:“这人智商有问题吧?!拖出去开一刀!”

    2丶

    有个财主,想让大家觉得他那个智商偏低的儿子聪明。遂请一饱学之士事先传了他儿子一副对联,以便他智商偏低的儿子的母亲过生日时在众人面前炫耀。对子的上联是:天增岁月人增寿,下联是:春满乾坤福满们。  是日,财主老婆(也就是他智商偏低的儿子的母亲)庆贺生日,请来了很多亲朋好友。财主当众问他儿子拿什么礼物为母亲祝寿。他儿子说:我为母亲大人敬一对联以示孝心。出口之前,这儿子灵机一动,把上下联各改了一个字,上联为:天增岁月母增寿。众人一听都觉尚可,这儿子便得意地吟出了下联:春满乾坤爹满门。

    3丶

    有个新兵分不清前后左右,  军官见他这样笨,便对他说:  “记住:凡事都要学会动脑筋,  否则老天爷给你一个脑袋干什么?”  新兵立即答道:“为了戴帽子。”  军官鄙视的看了他一眼,道:  没看出来,你智商挺高的啊!

    0
     
  • 萌萌 pm9:45 on 2019年1月27日
    标签: 福利,   

    王力宏再自费开唱.首次合体黄明志飙《飘向北方》 

    王力宏再自费开唱.首次合体黄明志飙《飘向北方》

    (台湾.台北2日讯)“欢迎来到1998!好久不见”。歌手王力宏21年前在大安森林公园开唱,如今2019年元旦夜在同场地举行“福利秀”演唱会,更邀嘉宾黄大炜、黄明志合体高歌,不畏低温越夜越热闹。

    王力宏为回馈粉丝,从8年前首创“福利秀”(Free Show),自掏腰包在每年1月1日、不同城市举办元旦演唱会,回归音乐本质,没有华丽舞台特效,只有音乐和与歌迷的互动,活动更是免费入场。

    21年前王力宏以专辑“公转自转”夺下金曲歌王,当时他曾在大安森林公园举办“绕着力宏转”演唱会,如今“福利秀”迈入第8年,王力宏选择回到他音乐发源地台湾,并回到20年前开唱的同场地携5名乐手共同演出,尽管昨夜台北低温、飘着细雨,但现场越夜越热闹,吸引约8000名粉丝冒雨前来听歌。

    王力宏一身轻便服装登台,开场带来充满意义的“公转自转”,接着边弹琴边演唱“不可能错过你”、“你不知道的事”,几度激动到起身弹琴,开心高喊:“大安森林公园太棒了!”他也不忘向粉丝祝贺:“2019,新年快乐!”

    重返熟悉舞台,王力宏还对着粉丝甜喊,“你们怎么都没变”,并表示这个场地就在他住家附近,如今一转眼就过了20年,期间写很多首歌,很开心能在这么有意义的场馆看到大家,感性说:“今天就是团圆,很高兴家人(歌迷)越来越多。”

    唱完快歌“改变自己”后,王力宏提到,这次“福利秀”是8年以来规模最大的,而且头一次有嘉宾,随即介绍歌手黄大炜出场,2人合体演唱“你把我灌醉”,好声音吸引越来越多人潮,沉浸在美好歌声中。

    王力宏演唱到亿万点阅夯曲“漂向北方”时,惊喜介绍嘉宾黄明志出场,让全场歌迷超嗨,昨晚演出也是两人首度同台合体诠释。王力宏透露,一直很欣赏黄明志的作品和MV,当初一听到“漂向北方”的DEMO就十分打动他,因此很快答应合作。

    王力宏昨晚除带来多首抒情歌“心跳”、“你不在”、“唯一”、“大城小爱”、“依然爱你”、“Forever Love”,还献唱电影“一个巨星的诞生”电影主题曲Shallow、红发艾德(Ed Sheeran)的Perfect及世界名曲You Raise Me Up,最后以经典作品Kiss Goodbye与歌迷不舍道别后,再应歌迷要求加码安可曲“爱你等于爱自己”。

    台下也有众多艺人到场聆听,包括王治平、Janet夫妇等人,还吸引台语天后江蕙在脸书打卡到场听歌,而王力宏双亲与老婆也来支持;此外,王力宏还宣布今年6月8日站上台北小巨蛋开唱,演唱会门票1月26日开卖。(中央社、记者:江佩凌、编辑:陈政伟)

    0
     
  • lynellbranton41 pm4:56 on 2019年1月27日
    标签: , , , , , 福利,   

    男女关系33个绝妙比喻 

      1、每个女人都有两个版本:精装本和平装本,前者是在职场、社交场合给别人看的,浓妆艳抹,光彩照人;后者是在家里给最爱的人看的,换上家常服、睡衣,诉苦。婚姻中的丈夫往往只能看到妻子的平装本和别的女人的精装本——婚外恋的动机之一。     2、漂亮是女人的通行证——一句老话而已,也算颠扑不破的真理。明明是糖衣炮弹,最后也不见得赢得美人归,但就是死心塌地讨好她。而那些缺乏视觉效果的女子尽管有的明明是良药,因为苦口,男人常常下不了决心娶她。

      3、婚姻是一把伞。有了它,风雨烈日时自然舒适无比,但更多平平淡淡的天气里,多了一把伞难免是累赘。     4、女人问:“你爱我吗?”男人答:“我喜欢你!”男人问:“你为什么不接受我?”女人答:“你能找到比我更好的”——看来男女之间喜欢用近义词,不过是香蕉外面多加了一层皮,或者棉花里面藏着一根针。

      5、妻子如衣服——流行如此变幻,衣服的开销日渐昂贵;男人没有一个好东西——但它毕竟是女人最大的买方市场。

      6、相爱时,男人把女人比作星辰、飞鸟、天使等等与天空有关的事物;恩断情绝时,男人把天空据为己有,把爱过的女人放回到地面上去。

      7、老夫老妻越长越像。有人说因为他们相爱。但医生说,起因是朝夕相处,饮食结构相同、作息规律同步。同一棵树上的树叶也是越长越像的。

      8、大龄未婚男女像是坐巴士坐过了站。有时是因为巴士上的座位太舒适了,简直不愿下车;有时是因为不认识自己该下的站台。终身不结婚的男女呢?他们是巴士司机。

      9、从青梅竹马能一直顺利地走到花前月下,简直是奇迹。就像当初打算从北京走路去广州,一路上总有诱惑的声音:“上车吧”。你的脚很难再一往无前。

      10、我很忙——听到这句话时,父母担心的是孩子的身体健康;朋友心想这哥们儿事业有成;妻子马上觉得自己家务的担子重了;女朋友流泪了,她开始意识到自己在他心目中的位置不一定有他的事业重要,甚至简直就是一个分手的信号或借口。

      11、一群人在讨论现代做什么事最冒险?登山、滑翔、极限运动。。。说什么的都有。其实,感情才是最大的冒险,而且在任何时代都如此。因为种种冒险行为大不了一死,但感情的折磨却让人生不如死。

      12、示爱者是动物,被爱者是植物。如果爱被拒绝,离开的当然是动物,因为植物是不会生出脚来跑路的。

      13、许美静有一首歌叫《你抽的烟》,写一个痴情女子跑遍小镇去买他抽的烟。电影《人在黄昏》里,女鬼站在梁家辉的身后问小店员:有ERE香烟吗?还有“手指淡淡烟草味道,记忆中爱的味道”。——为什么总是烟、而不是别的更能唤起女人的缅怀?只有一种解释:男人对香烟牌子的专一对应了女人对爱情的专一。

      14、某人向牧师忏悔,他在二次世界大战时把一个人藏在家里,并且收他的房租。牧师安慰说这并无过错。可是,此人问道,我该不该告诉他战争已经结束了呢?——当我们相信爱情还在,可它毕竟过去了,而我们不愿面对现实,好像蒙在鼓里。问题是:谁在收我们的“房租”呢?

      15、先有爱后有性,先有性后有爱,就像先有蛋后有鸡,先有鸡后有蛋一样,很难说哪种是真理,哪种比另一种更高尚。

      16、男人最大的秘密往往告诉红颜知己,不是同性、家人或妻子。当红颜知己成了妻子,她的这部分权力马上被取消了。这叫做有得有失。

      17、许多唱情歌的歌手从未爱过,这是最可笑的事,也是最合乎常理的事。爱过就不会唱得这么陶醉了。

      18、关系越深入越长久,关心就越来越具体,从雅到俗,从精神到肉体。热恋时她问他“你的心情靓不靓?”,结婚后她问他“这条鱼6块钱一斤贵不贵?”或者“你的痔疮好了没有?”

      19、婚姻是键盘,太多秩序和规则;爱情是鼠标,一点就通。男人自比主机,内存最重要;女人好似显示器,一切都看得出来。

      20、好女人是男人的学校。好女人却希望这个好学生永远不要毕业。

      21、一未婚女子感叹:为什么成熟的男人、好男人全成了人家的老公,没结婚的男人没一个像样的?有人提醒她:妻子们培养好丈夫都是自产自销,没有男人能自学成材。

      22、还记不记得大学或公园草坪上和树阴下的爱情?如今草坪换成了进口草皮,树也越来越少了。

      23、摇滚歌手何勇唱过:找个女朋友,还是养条狗?今天这话该由金丝鸟来说了:傍个男朋友,同时养条狗。

      24、男人往往把工作上的拍档与生活中的伴侣分得很清楚,所以,他会喜欢与女强人合作同时爱上温柔的女子,跟前者喝酒跟后者饮茶,所以,《堕落天使》里,杀手黎明跟李嘉欣拍档多年了仍是生意关系而对街女莫文蔚一遇钟情。

      25、我很丑,可是我很温柔——今天的男人和女人一起改编了赵传的版本:我不完美,可是我很真实。也就是说,我不漂亮,可是我很酷;我不富有,可是我很快乐;我不成功,可是我很自信;我不多情,可是我懂得珍惜。

      26、生日是一个舞台,一次考验,一个机会。恋爱时,男人更会利用这一点;结婚后,女人更会利用这一点。

      27、电台里常有人点歌,希望爱着的那个人可能听到。听到的可能性极小,但居然每每有奇迹发生。有人说爱情是一场高烧,但说爱情是奇迹才确切。人生中再也没有比爱情典型的奇迹了,它能使人由丑变美,使别的不可能的事变得可能。

      28、张小娴说:浪子回头,不是因你,而是他心已倦。就像瞌睡碰到了枕头,出门遇上了晴天。但加上“因为有你”几个字,足以令她充满成就感。

      29、年轻时候,拍下许多照片,一本本摆在客厅给别人看;等到老了,方才明白照片是拍给自己看的。厚厚的一生的镜头摆在眼前,连写回忆录都省下了。

      30、小时候把一次吃上30个包子当作人生理想时,我很幸福;当月收入5000之后,我仍然感觉不到快乐。当事业、爱情、家庭、金钱什么都不缺的时候,人们经常还缺一样东西——饥饿感。保有底限的欲望是幸福的。

      31、目前香港人趋向晚婚,平均结婚年龄男性为30.9岁,女性为27.7岁。再怎么晚,还是男大女小的主结构。女人一方面享受着被呵护的感觉,一方面希望自己比他老得更慢。

      32、不结婚也可以有爱有性,就像不结果实也能有春夏秋冬四季。但是,不结婚就分不到福利房。

      33、有了自己的房子,未婚女子就像是凭空小了几岁,又有耐心慢慢地挑选爱人了。一男向一女征询意见:我们先租房子住,结了婚攒了钱再买房子吧?女答:那我还不如先租丈夫呢

    0
     
  • kindramoritz305 pm7:48 on 2019年1月26日
    标签: 福利,   

    EXO的追星赢家,金珉锡追星放弃休假,吴世勛和崔智友一起打工 

    在合作《人生酒馆》之后,沈昌珉也曾经在个人社交网上公开过和金珉锡友爱互动的照片,照片中沈昌珉比着爱心的手势深情款款的看着金珉锡,金珉锡也是比着东方神起的「T」手势,并且沈昌珉留言到:「Thank you bro」。

    EXO的追星赢家,金珉锡追星放弃休假,吴世勛和崔智友一起打工

    这次金珉锡能够再次和偶像合作的机会也是自己放弃休假换来的,可见金珉锡有多喜欢沈昌珉了。在本月3日有网友还分享了金珉锡和沈昌珉一起录製《我独自生活》的现场剧透照,两人将一起在济州岛完成拍摄任务,展现两人在济州岛的旅行日常。但是金珉锡你这个小眼神随时都在偶像身上,偏心太严重了。

    EXO的追星赢家,金珉锡追星放弃休假,吴世勛和崔智友一起打工

    早前,吴世勛就有和崔智友同台的画面,堪称是最帅粉丝和女神的相遇,别看吴世勛在团里是个团霸,遇到女神也是瞬间娇羞。崔智友从后台出来时,金钟仁他们都很冷静,但是吴世勛刚一出来看见就立马嗖的一下回去了,等到再次淡定的出来,又害羞的想回后台,最后还是边伯贤几乎以强抱的方式让他面对女神。这是面对女神的反应没错了。

    EXO的追星赢家,金珉锡追星放弃休假,吴世勛和崔智友一起打工

    在1月14日,据相关韩媒报道,吴世勛前往济州岛化生兼职生合流《咖啡之友》家族,吴世勛的一日兼职生工作是在前台做招待,推荐点餐,并且很荣幸的成为了营业之王。作为光顾咖啡店的福利,吴世勛还将为每个离开的顾客送上巧克力,还一次发两颗。这个福利真是让人羡慕不已!

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  • byronfalkiner pm7:47 on 2019年1月25日
    标签: , 福利   

    你发骚吧! 

    1丶

    公司每到年底都开职工晚会,节目都由同事 们自己编排和表演。

    我们部门人多,就决定 上一个小合唱。为了在晚会上有出色表演, 我们部门还请了一个声乐老师作指导。

    声乐老师:合唱要有和声,和声需要大家的 配合。来,你们每个人负责不同的发音。

    老师对同事甲说:你来发do这个音。

    对同事乙说:你来发re。

    对同事丙说:你发mi。

    对同事丁说:你发fa。

    老师转身对一女同事说:你发骚(so)吧!

    2丶

    华佗为关羽疗毒,

    事毕,佗问刘备:“作为一方霸主,对你而言最重要的是什么?”

    刘备答道:“仁德!”

    继而刘备反问华佗:“作为一位名医,对你而言最重要的是什么?”

    华佗答道:“医德!”

    一旁的张飞听后脸色红润的喊:“神医!咱俩的事不是说好保密的吗!”

    3丶

    办公室主任接了个电话,说是让人去领春节 发的福利。

    让谁去呢?主任看了看正忙着写工作计划的小刘,

    又看 了看坐一旁的小王,

    随口说了句:“小刘忙 (小流氓),小王吧(小王八)。”

    0
     
  • 萌萌 pm2:01 on 2019年1月25日
    标签: 福利   

    幽默笑话:于是我大脑飞速旋转,思绪高度紧张之后,我冒出了一句 

      01. 大虎的一个科室,新来了个领导,按照惯例,新领导过来之后要给接风,大虎第一个举杯敬他,颤抖的手杯中的酒:“领导,等了你这么长时间,可算把你等来了以后,全单位的福利全就靠你啦!”,话还没说完,旁边一个楞头青,他们科室里面小李站起来,站起来之后也举起杯:“头儿,你别听他的,他巴不得你不来呢,你不来,他是我们的领导,他就是我们的头,他是巴不得你不来,我们是真心希望你来的”领导说:“来干一个”

      02. 第一次坐飞机,准备跟空姐要一杯水,而要水的时候。突然出现了一个问题,不知道怎么称呼空姐,然后我想了一想,要不管她叫服务员?不行,这样的话,显然会暴露,我第一次坐飞机的本质,完全没有了服务员什么鬼,明明是饭馆嘛,不行,于是我大脑飞速旋转,思绪高度紧张之后,我冒出了一句:“师傅,给我拿杯水”,我当时这么一喊完,空姐当时就楞了一下:“好的,好的”旁边所有人都看向我,我对他们说:“看什么啊?叫师傅有毛病吗?真是你们这些没坐过飞机的人?”

      03. 我家钟点工对我说:“读书人就是比不读书的人聪明,不读书的人都是一根筋” 我说:“不至于吧”钟点工:“咋不至于,你看我不读书,一事无成,我就只懂得怨自己,不读书,而你就不一样了”我很好奇:“那我是啥样呢?”他说:“你读书你也一事无成,可是你就不能怨自己,你说生不逢时怀才不遇,你怨社会,怨生活,怨天尤人”

    0
     

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