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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
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Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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  • leonidaolds8 pm1:23 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: , , , , 现实,   

    精选幽默笑话:​你有钱,周围全是笑脸 

      幽默笑话(上)

      1

      上大学那会晚上跟女朋友出去逛,一半的时候她说:不好意思哈,跟我逛浪费你的学学习时间了,我:没事,就当是出来遛狗了,刚说完看女朋友一脸黑线,赶紧改口:汪…汪…汪

      

    精选幽默笑话:​你有钱,周围全是笑脸

      2

      小时候,我去欺负一个小朋友。那个小朋友,哭了。大声喊着:“你等着,我叫我姐来。”我说:“好,我等着。”五分钟后,小朋友哭着跑回来了:“我姐不在家。”我被小朋友的认真精神感动了!于是我又打了他一顿!

      3

      跟着大哥好好干,大哥不会亏待你的,看好了,你一个,我一个,你一个,我一个,好啦,剩下的都是我的。”“大哥,咱这次就偷了包瓜子,不用这么分了吧!”

      

    精选幽默笑话:​你有钱,周围全是笑脸

      4

      女人生气的时候,你知道原因吗?”“经常是一些小事儿吧。。。”“才不是!比如说,你养的宠物打碎了你喜欢的杯子,你会生气,可是在宠物看来这并没有什么,对不对?这就是女人为什么是比男人高级的动物。”我竟无法反驳。

      5

      小齐每天上课就知道睡觉,放学泡吧,书包里的书从来没看过,一天,我和几个哥们心血来潮把他书包里的书换成了砖头,他一丝都没有发觉,直到有次上早自习迟到了,老师让他在门外背课文,就在众目睽睽之下拿出了砖头,只见老师退后了几步,那场面越想越搞笑

      

    精选幽默笑话:​你有钱,周围全是笑脸

      6

      你有钱,周围全是笑脸;你没钱,个个把你疏远;你风光,再忙都要去拜访;你落魄,再闲也说没时间。现实的社会,真心没有钱值钱,感情只和钱有缘。

      幽默笑话(下)

      1

      二货胖女友又卖萌了,嘟嘴对俺说:“待我长发及腰,娶我可好……”我瞄了她一眼,淡淡说:“我看没机会了,看你胖的,我这辈子估计都找不到你的腰在哪……”

      

    精选幽默笑话:​你有钱,周围全是笑脸

      2

      昨天,一妹纸过来让我帮她拧一下瓶盖,我欣然答应。恰巧此时妹纸快递来了,但我看她手撕快递包裹的那种气吞山河的姿势,怎么也不像拧不开瓶盖的弱女子

      3

      我是个网购达人,经常收快递、寄快递。因此,手机里就存了不少快递号码。一天,圆通快递员小张打我手机,我存了他的号为“圆通”。结果,我妈拿着手机跑过来说:“女儿,有个和尚找你……”

      

    精选幽默笑话:​你有钱,周围全是笑脸

      4

      某人妻子生病了,请来医生为其看病。医生检查了一下,问道:“有螺丝刀吗?”“有的,给您。”过了一会,医生又问:“有锤子吗?”这时丈夫更为疑惑:“有……不过,我妻子得的是什么病,是不是很严重?''“没什么,我总得先把药箱打开。”

      5

      手指骨折去挂骨科。医生:“手指怎么断的?”我说:“我有强迫症。”医生:“你手指断了跟强迫症有什么关系?”我说:“十个手指九个都响,就它不响。

    0
     
  • amelia90w8619638 pm1:17 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: 现实,   

    到了月尾就发愁,不知何年才出头? 

      哄~

      哄领导开心就做做假,哄群众开心就做做秀,哄情人开心就做做爱,哄朋友开心就做做东;哄老婆开心就做做饭;哄自己开心就做做梦。

      房

      房:老百姓愁住房,开发商愁售房,企业家愁帐房,制片人愁票房,当官的愁二房,贪赃的愁班房,男人愁私房,女人愁乳房,老人愁心房,打工的愁租房,住院的愁病房,分娩的愁产房,结婚的愁新房,小市民愁拆房。哎!房事可真够愁人的!

      现实的工作

      对公司的看法:远看像天堂,近看像银行,进去像牢房,不如回家放牛羊。个个都说好,个个都往那里跑,这里挣钱这里花,哪有钞票寄回家。都说这里工资高,害得我没钱买牙膏;都说这里伙食好,青菜里面加青草;都说这里环境好,蟑螂蚂蚁四处跑;都说这里领班帅,个个平头像锅盖。年年打工年年愁,天天加班像只猴,天天挨骂无理由,碰见老板低着头。发了工资摇摇头,到了月尾就发愁,不知何年才出头?

    0
     
  • johnetterector pm2:32 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 现实   

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬 

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬
    在我们生活中,撞衫的场景已经屡见不鲜,苗条、胖纸妹子们穿着同样或类似的服装却展现出不同的气质与身材。 一起来瞧瞧谁更尴尬呢!

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬
    撞衫不可怕 谁胖谁尴尬

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬

    夏天就要来啦 妹子们更显摆
    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬
    开始露一露的季节来到了
    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬
    撞衫不可怕谁丑谁尴尬

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬
    网上卖家广告版与现实版
    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬

    【10张图】搞笑趣味图:撞衫不可怕 谁丑谁尴尬

    0
     
  • franciscofulkers am10:24 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 现实,   

    IBM和波音777 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    波音777是有史以来第一架完全在电脑虚拟现实中设计制造的飞机,所用的设备完全由IBM公司所提供。

    试飞前,波音公司的总裁非常热情的邀请IBM的技术主管去参加试飞,可那位主管却说道:“啊,非常荣幸,可惜那天是我妻子的生日,So……”

    波音公司的总载一听就生气了:“胆小鬼,我还没告诉你试飞的日期呢!”。

    2丶

    程式设计师与妓女:

    1.一样是靠出卖身体为生

    2.吃青春饭,人老珠黄肯定混不下去

    3.越高级收入越高,当然中间人的抽头会更高

    4.生活没有规律以夜生活为主,如果需要,□晨也要加班

    5.名声越大,越容易受到青睐

    6.必须尽最大可能满足客户各种各样非正常的需求

    7.鼓励创新精神

    8.群聚程式师的地方称软体园区,妓女集中的地方叫红灯区

    9.流动性较大,正常情况下没有工会

    10.如果怀孕了,既不能做程式员,也不能做妓女

    11.都为了防病毒的问题而烦恼..

    12.当然,个中高手还专门以制毒传毒为乐

    13.一个是Plug&Play,一个是Plug$Play

    14.工作状态相同工作时精神高度集中,最怕外界干扰,工作完毕身心放松,体会到一种不可替代的工作快乐!

    15.女孩子最好还是不要做这两个职业,但还是有很多女孩子做

    16.除非在转行以后,否则都不愿意结婚

    17.他们都痛恨"微软"

    3丶

    电脑公司开业之际,亲朋好友饮酒助兴。

    一声“开机(启)”,大家各自开启一瓶啤酒。

    “清零”,大家举瓶畅饮,进行一次“批处理”。

    “复位”,放下酒瓶。

    ……

    “嘿,别喝了,我的内存不够,没法运行。”甲拍拍肚皮道。

    “可不,我的显示器也出毛病了。”乙颤抖着手,语无伦次地说。

    “哎,我的键盘怎么失灵了。”丙叫嚷,“眼前一切都飘飘摇摇的”。

    0
     
  • lawerencebleau am11:46 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 现实   

    友谊老公硬的坏坏笑 

    1、前几年在外打工!老板娘抽烟,发现包里没有了,叫我出去买,老板娘:去给我买包玉溪!我:要软的还是硬的?老板娘:软的!我:来硬的吧,软的没劲!老板娘雷人一句:谁说软的没劲?嘬着嘬着就有劲了!当时我就笑了。。。
    2、有一对恋人朋友,他们的网名很有意思,女的网名是:风一样的女子;男的网名为:被风吹过的男子。我似乎明白了什么。
    3、男:嫁给我吧!女:你说我们结婚会幸福吗?`男:当然啦。女:你怎么知道?男:你这么爷们儿,就算爱情不行,友谊也能地久天长。
    4、看电视上他们吃法国鹅肝喝红酒,觉得好浪漫。我就憧憬着什么时候也能有这份情调。二货老公居然来一句:“明天买个猪肝给你吃吃,比鹅肝大多了……”瞬间回到现实了……

    0
     
  • roxannaparry61 am9:56 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: , , 现实,   

    经典笑话:都市男女的叹息(上篇) 

      1、有了自己的房子,未婚女子就像是凭空小了几岁,又有耐心慢慢地挑选爱人了。一男向一女征询意见:我们先租房子住,结了婚攒了钱再买房子吧?女答:那我还不如先租丈夫呢。

      2、漂亮是女人的通行证——一句老话而已,也算颠扑不破的真理。明明是糖衣炮弹,最后也不见得赢得美人归,但就是死心塌地讨好她。而那些缺乏视觉效果的女子尽管有的明明是良药,因为苦口,男人常常下不了决心娶她。

      3、婚姻是一把伞。有了它,风雨烈曰时自然舒适无比,但更多平平淡淡的天气里,多了一把伞难免是累赘。

      4、女人问“你爱我吗?”男人答“我喜欢你”。男人问“你为什么不接受我?”女人答“你能找到比我更好的”。——看来男女之间喜欢用近义词,不过是香蕉外面多加了一层皮,或者棉花里面藏着一根针。

    经典笑话:都市男女的叹息(上篇)

      5、妻子如衣服——流行如此变幻,衣服的开销曰渐昂贵;男人没有一个好东西——但它毕竟是女人最大的买方市场。

      6、相爱时,男人把女人比作星辰、飞鸟、天使等等与天空有关的事物;恩断情绝时,男人把天空据为己有,把爱过的女人放回到地面上去。

      7、老夫老妻越长越像。有人说因为他们相爱。但医生说,起因是朝夕相处,饮食结构相同,作息规律同步。同一棵树上的树叶也是越长越像的。

      8、大龄未婚男女像是坐巴士坐过了站。有时是因为巴士上的座位太舒适了,简直不愿下车;有时是因为不认识自己该下的站台。终身不结婚的男女呢?他们是巴士司机。

    经典笑话:都市男女的叹息(上篇)

      9、从青梅竹马能一直顺利地走到花前月下,简直是奇迹。就像当初打算从北京走路去广州,一路上总有诱惑的声音:“上车吧”。你的脚很难再一往无前。

      10、我很忙——听到这句话时,父母担心的是孩子的身体健康;朋友心想这哥们儿事业有成;妻子马上觉得自己家务的担子重了;女朋友流泪了,她开始意识到自己在他心目中的位置不一定有他的事业重要,甚至简直就是一个分手的信号或借口。

      11、一群人在讨论现代做什么事最冒险?登山、滑翔、极限运动……说什么的都有。其实,感情才是最大的冒险,而且在任何时代都如此。因为种种冒险行为大不了一死,但感情的折磨却让人生不如死。

      12、示爱者是动物,被爱者是植物。如果爱被拒绝,离开的当然是动物,因为植物是不会生出脚来跑路的。

    经典笑话:都市男女的叹息(上篇)

      13、许美静有一首歌叫《你抽的烟》,写一个痴情女子跑遍小镇去买他抽的烟。电影《人约*昏后》里,女鬼站在梁家辉的身后问小店员:有ERE香烟吗?还有“手指淡淡烟草味道,记忆中爱的味道”。——为什么总是烟,而不是别的更能唤起女人的缅怀?只有一种解释:男人对香烟牌子的专一对应了女人对爱情的专一。

      14、某人向牧师忏悔,他在二次世界大战时把一个人藏在家里,并且收他的房租。牧师安慰说这并无过错。可是,此人问道,我该不该告诉他战争已经结束了呢?——当我们相信爱情还在,可它毕竟过去了,而我们不愿面对现实,好像蒙在鼓里。问题是:谁在收我们的“房租”呢?

      15、先有爱后有性,先有性后有爱,就像先有蛋后有鸡,先有鸡后有蛋一样,很难说哪种是真理,哪种比另一种更高尚。

    0
     
  • josephineharlow am9:23 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 现实   

    一句话爱情语录:没有一个完全契合你的人,没有一段完美无缺的感情 

      1、 没有一个完全契合你的人,没有一段完美无缺的感情。大家合不合适,大家完不完美,都需要双方有所付出,有所牺牲,彼此去创造。

      2、 异地恋要求你要能够忍受寂寞,而且这种恋情需要一个大团圆的希望,就算很缈茫也好。这是一种精神支柱,是支撑着你坚持这段感情的信念。

      3、 痴情的人永远都抱着这样的想法:连我自己都被自己感动,她有什么理由不被我打动呢?但坚持不懈的追求只能证明你是一个坚持不懈的人,仅此而已。

      4、 执子之手,与子共着。执子之手,与子同眠。执子之手,与子偕老。执子之手,夫复何求?

      5、 沉溺于以前与回忆的人是一个很懦弱的人,因为她(他)不敢勇敢地正视现实。现实是什么?现实就是变化。没有不变的感情,没有不变的人。

      6、 明知道是让对方痛苦的爱就不要让它继续下去,割舍掉。如果不行就将它冻结在自己内心最深的角落。

    0
     
  • thomasmccollom pm3:08 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: , 现实   

    单身俱乐部 

    1丶

    皮埃尔到一家名叫单身俱乐部的酒吧打工。领班告诉他,这里的店规很特别,每一桌的座位是单数,给客人上的饮料和食品是单份,单数正点提供优惠,就连饮料和食品的标价也都是单数。领班要求皮埃尔在为顾客服务时,时刻记住宣传本店的服务特色,好让顾客留下深刻的印象。  不一会儿,第一位顾客进来了,皮埃尔对他殷勤招待,顾客很满意,结帐的时候顺手给了皮埃尔十块钱小费。  皮埃尔却说:对不起,先生,这钱我不能收。  顾客奇怪地问:这是为什么?  皮埃尔犹豫了一下,说:您知道,我们是一家单身俱乐部,小费当然也得是单数呀。

    2丶

    七夕快到了,  单身的朋友们,  赶紧去超市,  悄悄往每盒巧克力里塞张纸条:  “我们分手吧!;”

    3丶

    妻子要跟我离婚了,虽然最后我妥协接受,  但是我还是不能容忍这残酷的现实。  我决定伺机报复,查明元凶。  于是在一个艳阳高照的午后,尾行她出门,  我看到她拿着我们的离婚证,  奔向了一个巨大的条幅“单身有好礼,奶茶一送一”

    0
     
  • 12345 pm2:53 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: 现实,   

    放假时懒人和勤快人的区别 

      红包

      二十多年前,妈妈给我保存的新年红包,再也要不回来了。

      我真的很想要回红包的呀!

      失败

      听了这么多年恭喜发财,却依然没有发财,实在抱歉。

      区别

      放假时懒人和勤快人的区别:

      懒人:睡到中午十二点起床吃饭。

      勤快:八点起床,吃了早饭再睡到十二点。继续吃午饭。

      现实

      别整天考虑到底是嫁给爱情还是嫁给金钱,更有可能的是两者都嫁不了。

      尴尬

      尴尬的不是和一屋不熟的亲戚看熊出没,而是在一片沉默中,只有你一个人笑出了声。

      你是不是也有这样哭笑不得的笑话,

      可以在后台留言,

      小编会进行编辑发布

    0
     
  • louisamangum pm2:45 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: 现实   

    在你小时候,会因为旋律爱上某些歌 

      主动

      现在的女孩也太主动了吧!才刚认识就要见父母。

      我刚刚问一个女生要不要去看电影,她说看你妈。

      神奇

      听说有些鱼类,如果附近族群都是同性,就会有一些突变为异性。

      真的很佩服,也很羡慕鱼类。

      变化

      小时候总听说多一个朋友多一条路。

      现在只感觉多一个朋友多一个不方便骂的人。

      理由

      在你小时候,会因为旋律爱上某些歌。

      等你长大后,理解了歌词会再次爱上它。

      现实

      我很喜欢侠义的精神,感觉有一天自己也能够行侠仗义。

      自从有了老婆,我才真正地认清自己,我其实是个非常需要被别人行侠仗义的人。

    0
     

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