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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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 漫画 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

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Tagged: 漫画 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • jacklyn35i am9:45 on 2019年2月13日
    标签: , , 漫画,   

    经典笑话集 

    1、停电了,我爸手机还充着点,他举着蜡烛找东西,我问他你找什么,他说怎么充电时的那个绿灯不见了?

    2、我一朋友在联通实习,一天,一老头走近来,劈头盖脸就来句"给我办张移动卡,好吧?"然后我那朋友头也不抬的就来句:"师傅,有人来砸场子!"

    3、同事去见客户,可能是紧张,一开口便是:"刘先生你好,请问你贵姓啊?"汗啊~~~~~~

    4、以前地理老师是个男的,特别暴力,谁一说话或走神上来就是一拳,但不打女生,有个新的女生不知道,还以为男女平等,有一次她上课偷着看漫画,被地理老师发现了,走到她面前来,还没任何表示,这女同学先吓的小脸煞白,高呼:非礼啊~我们地理老师瀑布汗~~~~~~

    5、我同学说:我搁的洗衣粉太多了。另外一个问:什么?你哥的媳妇儿太多了?

    6、一日风大,自行车倒了一排,只听一同学边扶车边说:谁的奔驰压了我的宝马?!…

    7、我以前打电话给男朋友他们宿舍,结果不是他接的,有点不好意思,就胡编了一个名字,说:"XX在么?想假装找错人就完了~~对方迟疑了一下,说:你等等啊,我给你叫去!我当时就晕菜了!赶紧吓的把电话挂了!后来问男朋友,他说他们对面宿舍一男生叫我编的那名字~~~~

    8、上次在国外,在街边看见一个做糕点卖的帅哥,我和朋友一边买一边说他像猫王,他听见我们在说他,就问我们说什么,我想了半天:"kingofmiaomiao(喵喵)"

    9、宿舍女友与网友通上话了那头显然很兴奋:喂,我是王小亮,你猜我是谁?晕倒不起……

    10、从一个朋友那里学到一句话:送你十个字――有他妈多远,滚他妈多远~记得第一次他对我们一群人说这个时,就看到所有人都在下面颁指头数是不是十个字..

    更牛的是,我拿这句话对n个朋友说过,基本90%以上都会迟疑片刻,口中默念或者手指头略动,然后一脸的笑意说,靠,还真的是十个字~屡试不爽啊,呵呵

    11、一日,班长通知星期六要做什么来着(那周事情多),完了我同桌猛摇我手臂:快,告诉我,星期六是礼拜几?…

    12、我一女同事,特壮(有重量也有力量),经常在车间里做力气事,把一干男同胞比下去。一日,看见搬物没力的A君,并且轻巧巧地就把一箱货给搬走,边搬边笑A君太面,太弱。A君憋了三分钟憋了一句话:你们女的长得再胖,也必定有个男的可以把你们抱到床上去…

    13、中学的时候,期中考试语文试卷,文言文翻译"苛政猛于虎也",偶翻译成"凶猛的苛捐杂税,比老师还要凶猛啊!"发现卷子来才发现汗啊!班主任画了个硕大的红圈,在"老师"两个字上!
      那个题一共2分,扣了我5分!

    14、有次等公共汽车时,开过去一辆宝马,旁边一位高人对他身边的人说:"看,刚过去那辆就是IBM."

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  • rudyspyer216 am10:50 on 2019年1月28日
    标签: 漫画   

    原来这就是少女漫画的真相 

    原来这就是少女漫画的真相

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  • kristoferqwg am5:17 on 2019年1月28日
    标签: 漫画, ,   

    《蜘蛛侠》新预告曝光·“神秘客”不是敌人是同盟 

    (网络视频截图)

    (美国·好莱坞16日讯)漫威超级英雄电影《蜘蛛侠:英雄远征》(Spider-Man: Far From Home)昨日公佈首支官方预告片,让粉丝先睹为快。

    在这个时长2分钟46秒的预告片中,观众可以先一睹蜘蛛侠的最新战服,更揭晓其敌人和同盟的身分。

    预告片一开始便进入幽默模式,“蜘蛛侠”彼得帕克的好友(也是钢铁侠史塔克的好友)“Happy”,与帕克的阿姨梅伊貌似调情的对话,令帕克一脸懵逼。

    帕克与同学到欧洲进行校外教学,却被前神盾局局长尼克弗瑞找上,并委派他对抗另一批强大的敌人——来自宇宙的“元素众”(Elementals)。

    此前已令影迷和媒体万分期待,证实由著名男星杰克盖伦霍尔(Jake Gyllenhaal)饰演的“神秘客”(Mysterio),在预告片中身穿古式战袍帅气登场,但他并非蜘蛛侠的敌人!

    在漫威漫画故事中,神秘客是蜘蛛侠的强大宿敌之一,曾与他展开过多次精彩对决与较量,然而此次在《英雄远征》,神秘客却成为尼克弗瑞委派以支援蜘蛛侠的盟友,两人将携手对抗“元素众”。

    “元素众”是由4名能操控不同元素的高手所组成的团体,他们分别是可以操控火焰的地狱火(Hellfire)、操控水流的海昌(Hydron)、操控大地的玛格南(Magnum)、以及操控风的西风(Zephyr)。

    值得一提的是,《蜘蛛侠:英雄远征》剧情时间点设定于《复仇者联盟4)(Avengers: Endgame)之后,这意味着彼得帕克将在萨诺斯的“弹指间灰飞烟灭”的人类灾难后宣告复活!

    《蜘蛛侠:英雄远征》定于7月6日在大马影院上映,比《复仇者联盟4》的4月25日较迟逾2个月。

    (网络视频截图)(网络视频截图)(网络视频截图)

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  • ashelymazzeo49 pm5:27 on 2019年1月27日
    标签: 漫画,   

    8岁就对老婆一见钟情?关于man爆的《Aquaman》Jason Momoa,你一定要知道的8件事情! 

    Jason Momoa 在《Aquaman》中,饰演一名「海底王国」亚特兰提斯贵族与人类结合生下的「混血儿」,现实生活,他的父亲是拥有夏威夷州血统的原住民,母亲则为德国、爱尔兰和印第安人混血儿,他也因为融合父母的多国血统,生成一张俊俏深邃的五官,全身散发着性感的异国情调。

    8岁就对老婆一见钟情?关于man爆的《Aquaman》Jason Momoa,你一定要知道的8件事情!

    其母亲为德国、爱尔兰和印第安人混血儿。

    3.现实生活也和水脱离不了关係

    Jason Momoa在大学时的主修科系正是海洋生物学,也因为热爱冲浪,曾经在冲浪店打工,并担任过海边救生员,会踏入娱乐圈的契机来自19岁那年,他的出众外貌和193公分的高大身型被发掘出道,隔年更被选为「年度夏威夷模特儿」,展现年纪轻轻即不凡的迷人魅力。

    他的出道作品是《Baywatch》,也跟海洋有关係。

    5.身上刺着鲨鱼的牙齿

    电影中的Jason Momoa身上有大片的刺青,但这些刺青多数都是特效化妆,只有左臂上的那块儿是真的。据Jason Momoa自己解释,这块儿刺青的图案是鲨鱼的牙齿,他希望用这个刺青让鲨鱼们把他当作同类,当他在水中的时候不要攻击他…

    8岁就对老婆一见钟情?关于man爆的《Aquaman》Jason Momoa,你一定要知道的8件事情!

    三角形图文是鲨鱼的牙齿。

    6.眉毛伤疤不是化妆效果

    Jason Momoa看似缺角的眉毛是一道伤疤,可不是特殊化妆效果,这个疤来自于他年轻时和别人在酒吧打架,被破碎的啤酒瓶所伤,更让他缝了多达140针。不过巧合的是,漫画《Aquaman》中也有提到主角左眼上有条疤痕,和他的现实情况可说相当类似,且「Aquaman」Arthur也是啤酒狂啊!

    38岁的Jason Momoa和50岁的Lisa Bonet从2005年开始交往,2007年生下女儿Lola Iolani Momoa,隔年再生下儿子Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa,一直到2017年才步入礼堂。

    8岁就对老婆一见钟情?关于man爆的《Aquaman》Jason Momoa,你一定要知道的8件事情!

    常分享他和儿子跟女儿的相处时光,每一张都父爱满棚啊!

    8.对健身举铁并不感兴趣

    比起枯燥乏味的健身室,他更喜欢户外运动,如:攀岩、踩单车、游泳、冲浪等,其后他的健身教练也根据他的喜好,开发出他喜爱的健身动作,就如攀岩就是他每次健身都必练的动作之一!

    8岁就对老婆一见钟情?关于man爆的《Aquaman》Jason Momoa,你一定要知道的8件事情!

    Jason Momoa除了身高出众,有1米93之外,他的一身肌肉也是影迷看得目不转睛的重点之一!

    8岁就对老婆一见钟情?关于man爆的《Aquaman》Jason Momoa,你一定要知道的8件事情!

    虽然不喜欢健身,但为了塑造出明确的肌肉线条,他还是会进行複合型训练。

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  • margaretsiegel6 pm7:36 on 2019年1月26日
    标签: , 漫画, ,   

    张柏芝为三胎举办满月酒,「小王子」正面照首次曝光,网友:终于藏不住了! 

    从12月17日,张柏芝工作室发布动态,称张柏芝已于11月诞下第三子,母子均安的这则消息一出,就开始 持续霸占微博热搜,网友们又惊又喜,在送上关心和祝福的同时,终于证实网路讨论近一个月的三胎传闻。随后张柏芝本人发布「三家福」的漫画,又拍摄了视频感 谢粉丝,这次的三胎可以说是引起网路轰动。

    张柏芝为三胎举办满月酒,「小王子」正面照首次曝光,网友:终于藏不住了!

    喜讯发布后,何炅、蔡少芬林志颖、贾乃亮等好友纷纷第一时间送上祝福。随后,张柏芝的产后写真也一併曝光,照片中的她穿着白纱裙,笑容里是藏不住的幸福感,身材恢复得也相当不错,照片一出便引发了一众网友的讨论,都是三个孩子的妈了,你为什幺还是那幺美!

    张柏芝为三胎举办满月酒,「小王子」正面照首次曝光,网友:终于藏不住了!张柏芝为三胎举办满月酒,「小王子」正面照首次曝光,网友:终于藏不住了!

    但随后张柏芝的工作室发文否认了网传孙东海是三胎「小王子」生父的传闻,并配上照片回覆:「假的」。这让一众操心粉更难猜了。

    张柏芝为三胎举办满月酒,「小王子」正面照首次曝光,网友:终于藏不住了!

    但不管怎幺说张柏芝最近是越来越美了 ,虽然有点遗憾没生到女儿继承妈妈的美貌,但现在有三个王子围绕着了,我们粉丝也为柏芝一家人开心,不管孩子父亲是谁只要孩子和大人都幸福就好了️,也祝愿张柏芝能越来越美,即便是都是三个儿子的妈了,你在我们心里依然还是那幺美。

    张柏芝为三胎举办满月酒,「小王子」正面照首次曝光,网友:终于藏不住了!

    参考来源

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  • MusicianXL pm1:20 on 2019年1月22日
    标签: , 漫画   

    幽默笑话:奶奶,求你饶了姑姑吧 

        【幽默笑话】昨天来大姨妈肚子疼的要死,老妈给我冲了一杯红糖水,侄女非得问这黑乎乎的是啥东西,老妈白了我一眼跟她说这是药,你姑姑天天让我生气,药死她得了。侄女听了噗通一声跪下来,一把鼻涕一把泪的跟我妈说:“奶奶,求你饶了姑姑吧。”我妈:“看看妞妞,你天天逗她哭,关键时候就她替你求情。”在我愧疚的不要不要时,侄女抹了一下眼泪继续说:“姑姑答应给我买的米小圈漫画还没买呢……呜呜呜!”

      【幽默笑话】地铁遇到老板跟小三幽会,我热情的跟老板打了个招呼。第二天老板鼻青脸肿的把我叫到办公室,语重心长的跟我说:“小明呀,我不就是工作对你严格了一点吗,扣了你几次迟到罚款吗,少给你开了几次加班费吗,你至于置我于死地吗?”然后在我一脸懵逼状态下,让我去财务部领了二百块钱让我滚蛋。

      【幽默笑话】三国时有个人叫周瑜,周瑜的老婆是小乔,小乔有个姐姐叫大乔,大乔嫁给了孙策,孙策有个妹妹叫孙尚香,孙尚香嫁给了刘备,刘备有个儿子叫刘禅,刘禅的皇后是张皇后,张皇后的母亲叫夏侯涓,夏侯涓的父亲叫夏侯渊,夏侯渊有个哥哥叫夏侯惇,请问:夏侯惇叫周瑜啥?

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  • stephangonzales am6:33 on 2019年1月18日
    标签: , 漫画   

    方成4 

    漫画家方成一篇《自我介绍》中,有一段充满谐趣的文字:“方成,不知何许人也。原籍广东省中山县(填表历来如此写法),但生在北京,说一曰北京话。自谓姓方,但其父其子都姓孙的。非学画者,而以画为业。乃中国美术家协会会员,但宣读论文是在中国文化学会。终生从事政治讽刺画,因不关心政治屡受批评。”

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  • thomasmccollom am8:13 on 2019年1月14日
    标签: 漫画   

    送货员 

    某大公司老板巡视仓库,发现一个工人,坐在地上看漫画书。br>老板最恨工人在工作时间偷懒,便问:你一个月挣多少?br>三万。工人回答。br>老板立刻叫旁边的职员给他三万元,并大叫:拿了钱给我滚!br>事后老板问职员:那工人是谁介绍来的?br>职员说:他不是本公司的人, 是其它公司派来送货的。

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  • Accompany am7:37 on 2019年1月14日
    标签: 漫画   

    幸运的员工 

    某大公司老闆巡视仓库,发现一个工人,坐在地上看漫画书。老闆最痛恨工人
    在工作时间偷懒,便问:你一个月薪多少?工人回答:三万。老闆立刻叫秘书
    发给工人三万块,并且对着工人大 叫:拿了钱给我滚!事后老闆问其他的职员:那个工人是谁介绍来的?职员说:他不是我们公司的人,他是其他公司派来送货的。

    0
     
  • piperdymock4236 pm2:38 on 2019年1月7日
    标签: 漫画   

    肖像画家 

    某先生终于成名了,于是他把一位画家请到家里来。  “我请您来不为别的,想请您为我画幅肖像,希望您尽力捕捉我的神态。”  画家紧盯着这位先生面孔瞧了一阵,叹息道:“对不起!我是画漫画的。”

    0
     

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