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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
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c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
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PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
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Thread Safety disabled
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Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
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Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
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 微博 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

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  • berryp4204677 pm2:19 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: , 微博   

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇! 

      【幽默笑话】看到别人在夜市摆地摊生意挺好,我也批发点东西跟着去夜市卖,可一连几天生意都没想象的好,很郁闷。老婆说:“别丢人了,人家卖的东西都像是正规渠道进的货,你的货怎么看都像是偷来消赃的,谁会买你的!”我……

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】小学一年级,老师让交100什么费。我妈给了钱,结果老师说又不交了,然后我就在学校小卖部买了3块钱零食。吃完了回家,把剩下的钱给妈,说掉了3块钱。我妈当时就一把把我抓住,我屁股没几下就开花了,当时还嘴硬说真的是掉了,结果晚饭都没有让吃。现在每次说起来,我妈说真怕她生的是脑残儿子!

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】群里聊天,有人问到我和老公一个湖北一个河南是怎么走到一块的?思绪一下子拉到了十多年前。那时候我们都在南方的一个工厂里打工,相识一年哥们儿一样相处,从未提及感情。有一天,他用铁丝做了一个套圈说道今天也玩玩套圈,套到谁以后谁就是他媳妇了,嬉戏打闹中圈圈不偏不巧的套在了我的头上。从自那件事后他就媳妇媳妇的叫开了……后来说到这事,他得瑟我是他套圈套来的。

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】元芳出去执行任务,临行前狄大人交于他一个锦囊,并嘱咐元芳:不到生死攸关,切不可打开! 执行任务时,元芳身陷囹圄,想起临行时大人交咐的锦囊,打开一看,上书一行字:此刻你定生死攸关! 元芳大为震惊,长跪大呼:大人真乃神人也……

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】记得也是一个元旦,班上的晚会结束之后,大家很罕见的一起回家。二三十个男生,浩浩荡荡的从学校出来,一开始我还觉得兴奋,觉得我们这么多人真是威风,打个群架什么的都没问题啊。走到西区的时候,住这的同学却没回家,还跟着队伍一起往前走。我还多嘴问了一句:“你们不回家啊?”结果没人理我,我也习以为常,就没有当回事。后来才知道,有人要打我,他们是跟着来看热闹的。是的,全班都知道我要挨打,却没一个人肯告诉我!

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】老婆对我特别好,婚前没要我一分钱彩礼,并表示,婚后也不会让我花一分钱。后来我发现她是真心说的那句话,因为,刚刚结婚第一天就把我工资卡给收走了,现在结婚三年了,一分零花钱都没给过我!

      【幽默笑话】有人说,这90后就是朋克的一代。年轻人的养生,得从养生说起。年轻人的养生,有自己的名字“朋克养生”有人总结了其特征就是:一边勤勤恳恳护肤,一边孜孜不倦熬夜,一边作死一边自救。啤酒加枸杞,可乐放党参,蹦迪儿穿上秋裤,贴上暖宝宝。一边暴饮暴食,一边养胃,吃完大鱼大肉,再来一盘青菜,就觉得很养生。总结一下就是过最野的生活,坐最贵的救护车。都说了,熬夜一时爽,一直熬夜一直爽,来熬夜吧,反正有大把的头发。但是你又为什么熬夜呢?因为值得操心的事太多了,你得第一时间关注各种英剧、美剧,以便日后给国产剧提出发展意见。也得时刻刷微博,紧跟热点,心系天下,还得抓紧时间玩儿游戏,调整心态。以免,第二天,在人群中爆发成熟之后的生活太闹心了,真的,我们不脱发谁脱发?

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】小时候,一到冬天,奶奶不但觉得我冷,还觉得我自己的衣服都不够暖和,非套上一件厚的。遇到这种情况我只能着急地说:“奶奶我不冷”奶奶说:“不,你冷!”这就是实力版的坑孙子。

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】本以为家里有矿,凡事儿还是得低调一点好啊!得学学人家愚公啊,表面是在移山,其实那是在挖矿。而且肯定已经挖到了,因为只有家里有矿,才能子子孙孙无穷尽的。要不然,哪个女的愿意嫁到他们家挖一辈子山?

    0
     
  • pkxhildegard pm4:29 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 微博   

    翻墙-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    有一男一女两导游各带一旅游团去长城参观。那晚由于人太多,两导游被安置在一单人房。为避免尴尬,两人用枕头隔开,一夜无事。

    第二天游长城,女导游围着的丝巾被风吹到墙外,那男导游立即翻过城墙捡回丝巾,交到女导游手上。谁知女导游一巴劈去,气奋的说:“连长城都翻得过,为什么昨晚连个枕头都搞不定?”

    2丶

    有一天,一只蚂蚁对一只大象说了一句话,结果大象晕了。你知道是什么话吗?

    蚂蚁对大象说:亲爱的,我怀孕了。

    大象醒过来对蚂蚁说了一句话蚂蚁晕了,这又是什么话呢?

    呵呵,“亲爱的,我们再来一次吧”。

    3丶

    有一天有位舍友买了包好烟回来宿舍,拿了一根就上wc去,剩下的放在床头,回来后发现那包烟只剩几根。此人特别爱发微博,于是他发了条微博:“我不说,不代表我不知道。”过了一会儿,他女朋友给他发来一条信息:“对不起”……

    0
     
  • mikegardner7329 pm4:18 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 微博   

    关于追求和放手-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    这两句很精辟:1、“喜欢一个人会怎么样?” “看他发的微博就像在做阅读理解”。2、放弃一个喜欢的人什么感觉??就像一把火烧了你住了很久的房子,你看着那些残骸和土灰的绝望。 你知道那是你家,但已经回不去了

    2丶

    这两天和女朋友吵架,冷战中。问同事有没有什么办法让女朋友理我,他说:“你回家把自来水总闸关掉,把饮水机里的水喝光,把厕所的电灯泡拧松,给她的电脑里装几个病毒。她自然就会开口和你说话了。”

    于是我回家立刻照做。

    女朋友回家后发现家里用啥啥坏,嫌我太穷,现在非要和我分手。。。

    3丶

    这是发生于某学长寝室的真实故事:发哥新交一女友,逢人便吹嘘自己女友的容貌如何美丽。某日,发哥独坐书桌前看着女友的照片赞叹不已,直道:“真像仙女下凡…………”其室友一时好奇,忍不住欲借照片看看下凡之仙子,准备“惊奇”一下。结果看完后只有一个问题:“你这个仙女下凡时是脸先着地吗?”

    0
     
  • jeromesaiz3049 pm3:05 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: , 微博,   

    真是个行家! -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    电脑工作者梦见自己向其女友表白:“我这个人总的说来主板还可以,特别是芯好,而且内存(内涵)丰富,价格、性能(花费、能力)优秀,你能相中我,真是个行家!”

    2丶

    刚才趁室友上厕所,把他的电脑桌面按print键截屏截下来,设置为桌面。然后把原来在桌面上的文件统统移到一个盘的文件夹里,这样桌面看上去和平时一个样。他回来后狂点鼠标,却没有反应!现在还在关机,开机,关机,开机,关机,开机中……BAZINGA!

    3丶

    问:“微博最早是谁发明的?”

    答:“必须是腾讯!”

    ——因为:QQ十多年来一直没穿内裤,却一直系着围脖!!!

    0
     
  • danilo26u0554 am11:36 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 微博, ,   

    贪吃的老公 

    1,丈夫一进家门,听到老婆在厨房里剁东西,马上问:“老婆,今天你做什么好吃的?”老婆说:“你有眼睛自己看呀。”丈夫说:“太好了,你做鸡。”

    2,老婆在包包子,丈夫说:“包肉包子要多点肉。”老婆没应他,他又说:“你得往包子里多放几块肉。”老婆不耐烦地说:“好,我听你的,有出息的男人包二奶,你没啥出息,我看你就想包头猪。”

    3,老婆出门去买菜,林谌交代要买鸭脖子吃。老婆说:“你呀,就会吃鸭脖,玩微博,从不知道拼搏。”林谌说:“每次你兵临城下时,我哪次没勃。”

    0
     
  • 12345 pm4:17 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 微博, , ,   

    喊叔叔,不喊不给吃~ 

      NO.1
      
      读书时一直暗恋她,但没有勇气表白,更没胆量碰她。毕业后,她已经结婚了,她老公跟我是同学,那天下午,她抱着娃娃在喂奶,我找了个借口,我走到她面前,一把两手按住她的咪咪,然后跟她娃娃说:“喊叔叔,不喊不给吃!”
      
      NO.2
      
      我的二货女友第一次做微商还是卖内衣,不知道怎么和陌生人推销!附近人加她为好友,把她兴奋的要命,马上通知然后说:你好!对方也回了一个:你好!!女友忽然发了一个穿着内衣妹子图片,跟上问了一句:帅哥,要吗?过了许久,对方发了一个酒店地址和房间号!!
      
      NO.3
      
      表姐失恋了,原因前天陪男朋友去公园玩,表姐想装一把淑女,就跟矫情的推了男的一把,可惜没控制好力道一把将男的推河里去了,最后还是表姐跳河里把人救上来的…
      
      NO.4
      
      一对小情侣吃夜市,隔壁桌几个醉汉对女孩吹口哨,男孩看见了拉了下女孩。想叫女孩离开!女孩见状骂男孩不是男人,自己女友被别人吹口哨了,还想着早点离开!然后又跑过去骂那桌醉汉,醉汉想给女孩一耳光。男孩上前阻止,和醉汉打了起来!最后被醉汉捅了三刀。不治身亡!男孩死前只说了一句话“这样算男人了吧!”
      
      NO.5
      
      杨过激动道:“姑姑,这16年你都去哪里了?过儿好想你!”﹉小龙女:“我一直在寒冰床上疗伤。”杨过看到小龙女身边的男子问道:“姑姑,那这位少侠是谁?”男子回道:“杨大侠你好!在下寒冰是也!”
      
      NO.6
      
      ………有次半夜做梦梦到自己脚上起了水泡,想着狠一下心捏破就好了,于是使劲捏了一下,然后我被一声惨叫惊醒,开灯一看,老婆捂着胸前的小樱桃咬牙切齿的看着我,然后………然后………分房睡了一星期!
      
      NO.7
      
      “你是怎样把孩子从幼儿园骗走的呢?”记者采访被捕的人贩子。“没什么的”,人贩子抬起头憨厚地笑着回答:“我每天都看他父母的微博,对这娃太熟了。”
      
      NO.8
      
      昨天女朋友说我数学不好,我说不可能,然后她就给我写了一道:3-8=?我觉得她这是在侮辱我的智商!

    0
     
  • jeromesaiz3049 am10:14 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 微博, ,   

    尼古拉斯赵四出轨大猜想的冷笑话大全 

    1丶

    尼古拉斯赵四被曝出轨,我想事情的走向应该是这样的。
    一天后,赵四发表声明,网传出轨男子并非赵四本人。
    二天后,在网友的深扒下,赵四又发表声明:我犯了一个所有男人都可能犯的错误。
    三天后,网上关于赵四的负面新闻满天飞,赵四媳妇发表声明,谁破坏我家庭,我必加倍奉还。
    四天后,赵四媳妇发表微博,称其实她和赵四早在2015年就已经协议离婚……
    五天后,赵四出轨女猪脚被深扒,舆论有些逆转……
    六天后,五一小假期到了,网友们都只顾着旅游度假了,哪有空管他赵四还是赵五……

    2丶

    你的老婆是怎样的人?用一事物形容?火车!!!  兄弟啊,同感,我的老婆也是天天只会逛吃逛吃……  兄弟,我说的是火车会出轨……

    3丶

    你是从哪个细节发现女朋友出轨的?一楼:她的手机扣着放了二楼:他直接告诉我了三楼:那天回家她一抖被子说给我表演一个大变活人。四楼:你这细节真细

    0
     
  • joannt170527565 am8:34 on 2019年2月15日
    标签: 微博,   

    春节放假一瞬间 

    1丶

    春节放假一瞬间,七天一过如云烟,  微博号召陪父母,爸妈亲戚走得欢,  三姑六姨认不全,反正家家闪光弹,  严防死守熊孩子,红包还得好几千,  三堂会审年夜饭,人生理想都要谈,  朋友个个都没空,景区只能数人头,  饭馆全都把门关,终于事情都忙完,  明天又要去上班。

    2丶

    春节刚过,第一天上班,中午在公司食堂偶遇财务的漂亮MM。  MM:过年好啊,衰锅,奇怪了,去年你就穿这件红毛衣,怎么今年还穿啊?到底哪一年是你的本命年啊?  我:过年好啊,霉铝,一点也不奇怪,我永远都是24岁,哈哈…

    3丶

    春节过后,语文老师让三个同学用“拜”字组词。  第一个同学说:“拜年。”  第二个同学说:“拜师。”  第三个同学苦思冥想,就是回答不出来。这时,下课铃声响了,他突然来了灵感,随即大声对老师喊道:“拜拜!”

    0
     
  • jestineclow21 am11:25 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: 微博,   

    缘分这东西不经看 

    1丶

    以前不知道什么叫缘分,直到有一天,缘分找上了我,我才体会到什么是缘分。(本人男,单身,当年在学校是出了名的花心,但是我自己并不认为我是一个花心的人,耍朋友本来都有分有合,毕业后自己忙于找工作,所以就没交女朋友,家人都很着急,到处托人帮我介绍一个,突然有一天,我表哥打电话给我说要给我介绍一个,我就觉得见一面也无妨,直到见面的一刻我才追悔莫及,那女的竟然是我们高中时的同学,我们男生私下喊的女汉子内型的人,我准备转身离开,假装不认识,没想到,她喊了我,没办法,我只好坐了下来,见她傍边坐着一个虎头虎脑的小子,这时她开口了,这一句话改变了我的整个人生:“这是你的儿子.””你们玩笑开大了吧,呵呵。”“

    2丶

    以前住在一个院里,有一男青年瞄上一单身漂亮女邻居。  遂每天早晨蹲到她门前刷牙,还和来往邻居大声打招呼,造成假象……    日复一日!然后那女的果然再没其他人追…  两人遂成夫妻。

    3丶

    有时候特别想谈恋爱。  但一想到“我脸上皮肤不好他要是亲我就会看到了,  他搂我腰要发现我隐藏的肥肉了,  一起吃饭就知道我饭量像个汉子了,  平时捧个手机刷微博哈哈哈哈  卧槽的笑他会觉得我是神经病吧”  我就觉得还是单身好。  不过想着我有这么多毛病根本就找不到对象,也就释然了。

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm5:16 on 2019年2月13日
    标签: 微博,   

    我都讨厌…… 

    1丶

    喜欢星期一,因为有地理课  喜欢星期二,因为有历史课  喜欢星期三,因为有生物课  喜欢星期四,因为有品德课  喜欢星期五,因为有外教课  喜欢星期六,因为可以玩  讨厌星期天,因为又要上课了!

    2丶

    现在明白我最辉煌的时间应该是高考前,那时上知天文,下知地理,左拿蒸馏瓶,右握电阻器。  虽不说精通代数,但也略懂几何,偶遇老外也曾英语对骂。  梦回唐朝尚能吟诗作对,上溯中华万千风流,下推海外千百英雄。  音乐美术计算机门门精通,武术民俗手工艺样样不俗。  现在呢,除了打游戏刷微博。丫就是渣…

    3丶

    小华不想上学,爸爸问他:“你要给我一个理由!”  小华回答:学习的科目太没品味!  爸爸好奇:为啥呢?  小华回答:地理,全是些山山水水的事!  历史,全是些稀奇古怪的事!  政治,全是些是是非非的事!  语文,全是些油嘴滑舌的事!  生物,全是些男男女女的事!  物理,全是些棍棍棒棒的事!  化学,全是些坛坛罐罐的事!  数学,全是些斤斤计较的事!  英语,全是些叽叽哇哇的事!

    0
     

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