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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
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Tagged: 坑 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • berryp4204677 pm2:19 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: 坑,   

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇! 

      【幽默笑话】看到别人在夜市摆地摊生意挺好,我也批发点东西跟着去夜市卖,可一连几天生意都没想象的好,很郁闷。老婆说:“别丢人了,人家卖的东西都像是正规渠道进的货,你的货怎么看都像是偷来消赃的,谁会买你的!”我……

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】小学一年级,老师让交100什么费。我妈给了钱,结果老师说又不交了,然后我就在学校小卖部买了3块钱零食。吃完了回家,把剩下的钱给妈,说掉了3块钱。我妈当时就一把把我抓住,我屁股没几下就开花了,当时还嘴硬说真的是掉了,结果晚饭都没有让吃。现在每次说起来,我妈说真怕她生的是脑残儿子!

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】群里聊天,有人问到我和老公一个湖北一个河南是怎么走到一块的?思绪一下子拉到了十多年前。那时候我们都在南方的一个工厂里打工,相识一年哥们儿一样相处,从未提及感情。有一天,他用铁丝做了一个套圈说道今天也玩玩套圈,套到谁以后谁就是他媳妇了,嬉戏打闹中圈圈不偏不巧的套在了我的头上。从自那件事后他就媳妇媳妇的叫开了……后来说到这事,他得瑟我是他套圈套来的。

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】元芳出去执行任务,临行前狄大人交于他一个锦囊,并嘱咐元芳:不到生死攸关,切不可打开! 执行任务时,元芳身陷囹圄,想起临行时大人交咐的锦囊,打开一看,上书一行字:此刻你定生死攸关! 元芳大为震惊,长跪大呼:大人真乃神人也……

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】记得也是一个元旦,班上的晚会结束之后,大家很罕见的一起回家。二三十个男生,浩浩荡荡的从学校出来,一开始我还觉得兴奋,觉得我们这么多人真是威风,打个群架什么的都没问题啊。走到西区的时候,住这的同学却没回家,还跟着队伍一起往前走。我还多嘴问了一句:“你们不回家啊?”结果没人理我,我也习以为常,就没有当回事。后来才知道,有人要打我,他们是跟着来看热闹的。是的,全班都知道我要挨打,却没一个人肯告诉我!

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】老婆对我特别好,婚前没要我一分钱彩礼,并表示,婚后也不会让我花一分钱。后来我发现她是真心说的那句话,因为,刚刚结婚第一天就把我工资卡给收走了,现在结婚三年了,一分零花钱都没给过我!

      【幽默笑话】有人说,这90后就是朋克的一代。年轻人的养生,得从养生说起。年轻人的养生,有自己的名字“朋克养生”有人总结了其特征就是:一边勤勤恳恳护肤,一边孜孜不倦熬夜,一边作死一边自救。啤酒加枸杞,可乐放党参,蹦迪儿穿上秋裤,贴上暖宝宝。一边暴饮暴食,一边养胃,吃完大鱼大肉,再来一盘青菜,就觉得很养生。总结一下就是过最野的生活,坐最贵的救护车。都说了,熬夜一时爽,一直熬夜一直爽,来熬夜吧,反正有大把的头发。但是你又为什么熬夜呢?因为值得操心的事太多了,你得第一时间关注各种英剧、美剧,以便日后给国产剧提出发展意见。也得时刻刷微博,紧跟热点,心系天下,还得抓紧时间玩儿游戏,调整心态。以免,第二天,在人群中爆发成熟之后的生活太闹心了,真的,我们不脱发谁脱发?

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】小时候,一到冬天,奶奶不但觉得我冷,还觉得我自己的衣服都不够暖和,非套上一件厚的。遇到这种情况我只能着急地说:“奶奶我不冷”奶奶说:“不,你冷!”这就是实力版的坑孙子。

      

    爆笑笑话:我用铁丝做了一个套圈,套到谁以后谁就是我媳妇!

      【幽默笑话】本以为家里有矿,凡事儿还是得低调一点好啊!得学学人家愚公啊,表面是在移山,其实那是在挖矿。而且肯定已经挖到了,因为只有家里有矿,才能子子孙孙无穷尽的。要不然,哪个女的愿意嫁到他们家挖一辈子山?

    0
     
  • ilenelester29 pm3:06 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 坑,   

    男女的恋爱尴尬-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    最喧哗的恋人

    深夜,小伙子送姑娘回家,在门前难舍难分,深深拥吻。

    半小时后,姑娘的老爸打开窗口喝道:混蛋,放开我女儿!

    小伙子吓得不轻,还是鼓起勇气分辨:伯父,我们是真心相爱的。

    姑娘的老爸怒气冲冲:你亲她就亲她吧,还压在我们门铃上……

    2、最有缘的恋人

    我当初对她一见钟情,凭直觉就知道我们之间一定有某种神秘的缘分。

    是吗,那你跟她搭讪了没有呢?

    当然有,我追得很用心卖力,最后关头还使出了杀手锏,告诉她我老爸是百万富翁。

    哗,那你们一定是从此幸福地生活在一起了。

    是生活在一起了,她现在是我后妈。

    2丶

    尊重人,理解人,有时骂骂人,但从不算记恨人

    想私事,想公事,有时好性事,但从不误正事

    爱钱财,常疏财,有时发小财,但从不贪不义之财

    爱喝酒,喝好酒,有时喝花酒,但从不乱酗酒

    有爱心,有善心,有时也花心,但从不丧良心

    想女人,爱女人,有时换女人,但从不坑女人

    重亲情,记恩情,有时也矫情,但从不负友情

    3丶

    昨天看见朋友发了一条“男人很累,出轨无罪”。然后底下一条评论“生孩子也很累啊,不要在意是谁的了,好吗?”

    0
     
  • 最萌的贱人 pm4:34 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 坑,   

    网恋赔偿清单 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    认识你很久了,仿佛从我的前世。我们曾那么近——你在屏里面,我在屏外面。只是最近老占线。我痴痴地等,幽幽地怨,默默地咀嚼,深深地依恋。既然相爱的痕迹已浸血,不如我们清算。

    1、以网络时间计算,我们共同度过86700分钟,距离说“嫁给我吧!”86400分钟,折合电信的计价单位1440小时,为此支付费用8640元。

    2、你说,我的激情可以摧毁地狱,我的柔情为你建造天堂。一张天堂的入场券,值多少?

    3、我为你呕心沥血,精心打造情书两百余封。每封少则三五行,多则六七张,十分心意,百媚千娇,加起来也有数万字。虽不是字字珠玑,但打个大折扣,若一千字80元,你应付多少?

    4、因你不经意的谈起,我放弃古龙金庸,牺牲莫文蔚王菲,我读《浮躁》、《国画》,背《宋词》、《诗经》。这对痛恨语文的我何其不易。那么多“花月”那么多“风”,那么多细密的心思曲曲张张,你应付多少?

    5、与你约会,我长久地端坐电脑前,手指翻飞,四肢发麻,恶心呕吐,头晕眼花,坑坏了肠胃,熬酸了腰椎。上患肩周痛,下有肌腱炎,进医院前后花掉两千三,另加更换眼镜片。误工补贴算不算?

    6、你说你要来(结果没来),我望穿秋水,辗转了缠绵,设计相逢,确定最美好的路线。试吃试玩试攀岩,用掉六百。

    7、在你遭到父母的误解,朋友的背叛,小人的暗算,领导的非难,在你破碎虚空,感受生命中不能承受之轻,我一直在你手边:倾听,排解,无私地奉献。按《甲方乙方》的标价,如何算?

    8、由于心思全在你,我丧失了原则和立场,怠慢了工作和“三讲”,抛却了共产主义理想,向往小资产阶级情调,我对不起人民对不起党。这良心的谴责,终生的悔恨,你应付多少?

    赔偿,我要你赔偿,精神的物质的,物质的精神的,千千万万,万万千千。可梦里的空,心中的洞,如何堵得上?

    2丶

    近日,我在某论坛发现1个帖子:“请问老婆的衣服脱不掉,怎么回事?”

    XX答道:“密码错误,请关闭窗口,重新登陆。”

    另一人的回答更绝:“该程序执行了非法操作,即将关闭,详细资料:‘你昨天赢我的钱还没还我呢!’”

    3丶

    A男和B女都从事计算机局域网络研究,颇有交往。一天,B接到A的“令牌”—我俩联

    网吧;B沉思良久,返回“令牌”—注意网络保密。之后,A与B秘密进行“通道访问”。

    终于有一天达成了“网络协议”。

    现在,他俩已经联网了。

    (说明:通道访问—约会;网络协议—订婚;联网—结婚)

    0
     
  • lakeshavenn2 pm4:29 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: 坑   

    有老公了就不要调戏大叔了好 

    1丶

    春节和老婆出去逛庙会。  看到有个套圈的不错,老板是个中年大叔,蹲在那摆摊。  十块钱弄了三个圈让她玩。  老婆很开心,说要套个大娃娃回来。  然后直接一个圈丢出去,直接套中了店主的秃头……  店主大叔很幽怨地看了我一眼,然后对我老婆说:“妹子,有老公了就不要调戏大叔了好么……”

    2丶

    春节后不几天,大林有个同学来家里玩,  因为都嫌这几天吃的有点腻,  大林就特意弄了几个清淡的小菜下酒,  大林喝得有点高,就神秘地对同学说:  “老婆就像是大鱼大肉,再好也会吃腻!  情人就像这小菜,清香养人!我喜欢!”  正说着,大林老婆进来了,见一桌子小菜,  就抱怨大林:“光知道吃小菜,  难道你想把大鱼大肉留着请客?”  大林同学笑喷了。

    3丶

    春节回家,客车途经加油站加油。  司机大喊,要上厕所的赶紧去了,  这是我们最后一次停车。  我像往常一样在厕所一边蹲坑  一边玩游戏,可能是太投入了,  隐隐约约听到外面有个女的在喊,  里面有没有人啊,没有理会她,  然后两分钟后我就出来了,  然后,然后车呢?

    0
     
  • wendellmcconnel am9:27 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: 坑   

    如果老婆掉到粪坑里面,三个选择,你们会选择哪个 

    如果老婆掉到粪坑里面,三个选择,你们会选择哪个

    0
     
  • kindramoritz305 am9:26 on 2019年2月14日
    标签: 坑   

    友谊的小船就这样被你一个人坑翻了 

    友谊的小船就这样被你一个人坑翻了

    0
     
  • superuser2614 pm1:06 on 2019年2月13日
    标签: 坑   

    真正有水平的运动员 

    1丶

    跳高:能触碰到杆子而过却能令杆子稳然不倒。

    跳远:能将起跳点精确定位在起跳板过头一点点而不会被裁判发现。

    长跑:少跑一圈却仍能装出一副极累的样子从而碰巧能混过裁判的眼睛。

    短跑:将抢跑到抢到自己这儿来的对方选手以力挽狂澜之势摔出n米远。

    标枪:在标枪即将落地之前虽与地面接近于0°却仍能使成绩有效。

    三级跳远:前两跳已经到沙坑导致第三跳无法有力起跳。

    2丶

    一位美国歌唱家在卡斯卡拉演出。他唱的第一支咏叹调获得了热烈的掌声。听众在台下喊道:“再唱一遍!再唱一遍!”他又唱了一遍,可是听众还是要求他在唱一遍,接着他又唱了第三遍、第四遍……最后,他累的精疲力尽,气喘吁吁地问观众:“这支咏叹调我还要再唱多少遍啊!”观众大声地回答:“直到你唱准为止!”

    3丶

    有一位爱鸟人士他特别喜欢鹦鹉,有一天他经过一间鸟店发现里面正在拍卖一只鹦鹉,他看那只鹦鹉毛色很好看决定要买,于是他喊道:“我愿意出10美金买下这只鹦鹉!”

    接着有人喊价:“我愿意出20元美金!”

    那位爱鸟人士不愿把那只鹦鹉拱手让人,于是他又喊了30元……可是另一个声音像在跟他作对,一直到那位爱鸟人士叫了200元时才停……

    那人买到鹦鹉很高兴,可是他突然想到:我花了那么多钱才买到这鹦鹉,如果它不会说话那我不就亏大了吗???

    于是他就去问老板:“老板……你这只鹦鹉会不会说话啊????”

    接着他听到鹦鹉大叫:“不会说话?!?!你以为刚刚是谁在跟你喊价啊?!?!”

    0
     
  • waylonlaing772 pm2:24 on 2019年2月12日
    标签: 坑   

    两个包子 

    1丶

    早上去上班,路过一家包子铺看到的。一个长的很黑的外国人对包子铺的老板说“Two包子,Two包子”包子铺老板脸一黑说到:“滚蛋,你才是土包子呢! ”

    2丶

    眨对乏说:只是因为多看了你一眼,从此我就没有消停过。

    乏对眨说:你这么不停地对我示爱,到底累不累呀?

    3丶

    展昭去上茅房,看见包大人蹲在那儿拉屎,就问包大人:“包大人,我发现你每次大便都蹲中间那个坑,有什么原因吗?”

    包大人说:“因为我铁面无私啊!”

    展昭说:“怎么说?”

    包大人清了清嗓子,唱道:“铁面无私便中间。”

    0
     
  • berryp4204677 pm3:16 on 2019年2月11日
    标签: 坑, ,   

    丰胸-丰胸笑话 

    1丶

    某MM为了丰胸开始练哑铃,因为右手力气大些,所以每次都是右手举5次,左手举3次。  三个月后丰胸成功,结果男朋友眼睛患斜视了……

    2丶

    那天我路过一条街,发现街上都是站街女。  其中有一个竟还朝我热情地招呼起来:“帅哥,来玩玩吧。”  我粗着嗓子冲她吼了一句:“我喜欢男的!”  于是她看都懒得再看我一眼,头也不回就走了。  其实我说的是实话,我的确喜欢男的。  我那天戴着遮阳帽,还有墨镜,穿的牛仔裤。  我个子比较高。因为夏天太热,我把留的一头长发给剪掉了。  更主要的是,看来我得丰胸了。

    3丶

    男人,总是笑容满面,两眼放电,不是发病犯贱,就是坑蒙拐骗!  女人,丰胸细腰,放荡风骚,不是掏你腰包,就是放你黑刀!  这年月男怪女妖,小心中招!

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm5:35 on 2019年2月10日
    标签: , 坑   

    胸器小的妹子,有没有这经历 

    1丶

    你们知道没有胸的女生最心酸的时刻是什么么就是当你裹着浴巾走出浴室,吸一口气,毛巾就滑下去了!

    2丶

    LZ女,今天跟一个男性朋友(好朋友的那种)去盲人按摩那里按摩,按摩师让我躺在按摩床上,躺好后就开始跟我按结果那人直接按我胸,当时心里还很不好意思想着怎么按这里,此时我的男性朋友也站在我旁边,这时按摩师说我是让你趴着你怎么仰着啊!当时我真想打个洞钻下去以后都没脸见那朋友了

    3丶

    一女同事,胸特小,非常小,为了掩饰平时都穿特别厚的内衣

    今天妹子跟一男同事闹打架,二逼男的一拳打妹子胸上了

    然后全办公室的人都看到妹子胸前有个坑,半天都没弹回原状,世界瞬间安静了

    0
     

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