PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/compat.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-list-util.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/option.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-matchesmapregex.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-error.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/cache.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/default-filters.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/l10n.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/l10n.php on line 16

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-locale.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-locale-switcher.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-walker.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-ajax-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/capabilities.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-roles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-role.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/date.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/theme.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-theme.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/user.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-session-tokens.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-user-meta-session-tokens.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/meta.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-meta-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-metadata-lazyloader.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/general-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/link-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/author-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-page.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-page-dropdown.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-post-type.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-post.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/revision.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-formats.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/post-thumbnail-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/category.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-category.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-category-dropdown.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/category-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-comment.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/rewrite.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-rewrite.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/feed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/bookmark.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/bookmark-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/kses.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/cron.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/deprecated.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/script-loader.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-dependency.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-scripts.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.wp-scripts.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class.wp-styles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/functions.wp-styles.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/taxonomy.php on line 16

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-taxonomy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-term-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-tax-query.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/update.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/canonical.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/shortcodes.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/embed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-embed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-oembed.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-oembed-controller.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/media.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/http.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-http.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-requests.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-streams.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-curl.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-proxy.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-cookie.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-encoding.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-requests-response.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-http-requests-hooks.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/widgets.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-widget.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-widget-factory.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/nav-menu.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/nav-menu-template.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-walker-nav-menu.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/admin-bar.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/rest-api.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/vars.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/pluggable.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/pluggable-deprecated.php on line 2

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/default-widgets.php on line 2
phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php:15) in /www/wwwroot/jiecaoxh.com/wp-includes/template-loader.php on line 2
 办公室 | 贱萌萌_节操笑话|萌图,内涵图,内涵段子,搞笑图片,笑话

亲,您需要先 登录|注册 才能分享喔!

点击微博图标,直接登录。否则请输入用户名密码登录。

Tagged: 办公室 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • issacrolph3680 am9:22 on 2019年2月18日
    标签: 办公室   

    搞笑:听说你爸爸在一个部里工作? 

      幽默笑话:今天惹祸了。办公室的鱼缸里养了几只透明的小虾,领导带着眼镜看半天,问我养的什么。我说:“虾啊!”领导一愣,走了……我也楞了,赶紧大声地解释:“虾啊领导!领导虾啊!领导真是虾!!是真虾啊!!!”

      幽默笑话:一男一女相亲。女方问男方:“听说你爸爸在一个部里工作?”“没错。”女孩高兴地说:“等回头把我介绍到你爸爸那里吧,我可以当会计。”“他那里用不着会计。”“那就管理档案吧。”“这个部没档案。”女孩听后觉得奇怪,追问:“那是什么部?”小伙子笑着回答:“小卖部。”

      幽默笑话:记得是去年的清明节了,我坐公车回家。因为不和爸妈一个城市,车上有点吵。老妈打电话给我,我就开的扩音寒暄了几句后,老妈最后说了一句:“节日快乐。”车上的人都慢慢的向周围退去。

    0
     
  • danilo26u0554 pm5:03 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    车模儿真差劲-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    昨天一进办公室,就看到刚从上海出差回来的小张。大家寒暄了几句,马上聊到举办中的上海国际汽车展。小张炫耀说他不但去参观了,还近距离拍了好多照片呢!

    同事中车迷众多,马上要求他拿出来看看。于是小张打开笔记本电脑,一边翻着电脑里的数码照片,一边向大家介绍:“这是‘全球纪念版’的劳斯莱斯,这是‘玛莎拉蒂’,这是‘宝马Xacitivity’……”

    照片拍得真不错,美中不足的是,大多数照片中间都有一个衣着时尚的女孩,或多或少地占据着画面,影响了我们对名车的欣赏。看着看着,我忍不住说:“车是不错,可这车模儿真差劲,长得一般不说,还特没眼力见儿,挡着画面,怎么好几种品牌都用她当模特儿啊,真没眼光……”

    突然,小张一把掐住我,恶狠狠地说:“她是我女朋友……”

    2丶

    昨晚跟媳妇吵架,媳妇一气之下拿着行李箱离家出走。。。

    我随之追出去各种道歉,各种承诺,各种哄,媳妇终于回心转意。。。

    当我热心的帮媳妇拿行李箱,才发现,尼玛,行李箱是空的。。。

    3丶

    昨晚请女同事吃饭,菜端上来她没吃两口就不吃了,我关心地问道:”你为什么。。。”

    她笑着打断我说:“你是想问我为什么吃这么少吗?”

    我说:“我是想问你为什么吃这么少,还这么胖! ”

    0
     
  • jeromesaiz3049 pm4:07 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    花花公子-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    一花花公子对其未婚妻说:“在我们结婚前我要把我以前所有不忠的事情都告诉你。”

    过了三天,花花公子又如此重复了一遍。

    其未婚妻感到很奇怪,嗔怪到:“你不是已经告诉过我了吗?”

    花花公子道:“是啊,不过那已经是三天前的事情了。”

    2丶

    一家公司的经理有天抱着他的秘书坐在自己的腿上,正当两个人甜言蜜语的时候,突然他的老婆闯了进来,就在这一刻,经理灵机一动,连忙对着秘书说:”我和你反映过好多次了,你说办公室里只有一张椅子怎么行!”

    3丶

    一家三口逛街,媳妇和孩子在前面逛,老公实在是不想逛,就在后面路边摊扔了十块钱买了一个假的金链子,快步走到媳妇跟前把链子攥在手里稍微露出一点,低声说:捡的,快走。三口就急急忙忙回家了……

    0
     
  • Accompany pm3:27 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    浪漫与浪费-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    一男一女在办公室谈起浪漫与浪费这一话题。

    男:到底什么叫浪漫?

    女:明知道她不爱你,你还要送她一百朵玫瑰。

    男:那什么叫浪费?

    女:明知道她爱你,你还要送她一百朵玫瑰。

    2丶

    一男一女在公园里谈恋爱,突然那个女的站起来,用食指勾走男的的下巴,低下头去,摆出电影中经常出现的经典造型,那个男的心如擂鼓,脸红耳热,不自觉把眼睛闭起来了。女的毫不犹豫,一口…………“呸”,吐了男的一脸口水。

    3丶

    一男子跟妻子的闺蜜聊着聊着,妻子的闺蜜突然说:“我老公今晚不在家,家里灯坏了,能来帮帮我嘛?”这时候男子妻子正好打电话来说:“我晚上加班不回来了! ”该男子狂奔到妻子闺蜜家,发现他妻子拿着擀面杖等着呢。

    0
     
  • angelicaledbette pm2:18 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    年度总结-爱情冷笑话 

    1丶

    办公室里,我问一个女同事:“什么叫做浪漫?”

    她说:“浪漫就是明明她不喜欢你,你还是送给她99朵玫瑰。”

    “哦,那什么叫浪费呢?”

    “切!浪费就是明明她喜欢你,你还送给她99朵玫瑰! ”她不屑一故地说。

    2丶

    有一类女生有这样一种模式,冬天的时候: “老公,人家手手冷,肚肚给我,帮人家捂 捂手。。。大腿儿给我,帮人家捂捂脚。。 。” 可一到夏天,基本上就是这个模式:

    !热死了,表碰我!滚一边去!离老娘远点 儿。。。”

    3丶

    有一男生对一女生穷追不舍,可女生对他并不感兴趣,屡次对他说出实情,可该男生却依然顽固不化。

    有一天,女生实在忍不住了,在男生的一再纠缠下猛地回头,拍案而起道:“你到底喜欢我什么啊?我改还不行吗?”

    0
     
  • danilo26u0554 am9:54 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    RPG综合症 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    以下的症状你有吗?如果一半以上的症状你都有,那就已中毒不轻了,今后可要多加注意。如果坚持不改的话,不排除若干年以后会突发耳鸣,面色发青,健忘等并发症的可能。

    症状一:浪游症

    表现为即使有明确任务也在地图上装作闲得没事而四处走动。

    症状二:盗癖

    无论桌子,床,墙壁等都要调查一下,严重者便会在生活中到处进行这种无意义的调查。

    症状三:赌博癖

    在游戏中的赌场乐此不疲地赌博,赢了就存进度,输了就读取进度重来。

    症状四:收集癖

    一定要获得名称上自己最喜欢的东西,如圣骑士甲或村正妖刀。这是为了宝物的魅力而中毒。

    症状五:炼级癖

    只要是自己的同伴,无论如何也要都炼到99级,并以此炫耀。而在生活中从不锻炼。

    2丶

    我是一个电脑迷,我把女朋友1.0版家庭管理软件升级到了妻子1.0版。可是没过多久,就发现妻子1.0一启动就会耗尽90%的Win98系统资源,并调用各种子程序拖跨整个系统。

    更糟糕的是,自从安装妻子1.0后,我的电脑再也无法运行一醉方休5.5版、寻欢作乐8.8版,每次启动这些程序时,系统均指示是“非法功能调用”。

    最要命的是,妻子1.0还擅自将丈母娘6.6版和小舅子3.8版装进了系统,并常常自动运行,导致系统瘫痪。

    我实在忍无可忍,决定将妻子1.0升级为女朋友2.0。不料,一运行女朋友2.0的Setup,妻子1.0就立刻将系统中的MicrosoftMoney98删除,结果女朋友2.0总是提示系统资源不足,拒绝安装。

    亲爱的朋友,你能帮助我吗?

    以下有各种答案:

    方法一:

    用PQMagic重新分区后,安装女朋友3.0beta1.0的Linux版,禁止两个分区之间传递数据。不过女朋友3.0beta1.0forLinux并非免费软件,其注册费用相当昂贵。且你的存贮空间很快会被耗尽。到那一天时你只好全部Fdisk=>Format,然后重装整个系统。

    方法二:

    任何“妻子”版本的软件都含有CIH1.0病毒和特洛易木马病毒。你的计算机上已经装了这个软件,你就自认倒霉好了。因为你的BOIS和硬件已经被不知不觉地破坏了。如果你想把她升级为“女朋友2.0”,那你首先要低级格式化,然后把你的BIOS恢复,再检查并修复你的硬件(你的内存条已被烧进去永久驻留的数据,你必须把它们全换掉)。

    千万不要把任何版本的“女朋友”升级为“妻子”了。如果你实在觉得“女朋友”不方便,可以把她升级为“妻子”试用版7.0,这个软件只需很少的一点内存,所占系统资源很少,而且可以随时删除,根本不用修改注册表。与“妻子”正式版相比,她的运行可靠性和性能都胜几筹,唯一的缺点是:你不能用她来作为编程的环境平台。

    警告:万一你用她的资源编出任何程序,她将比“妻子9.9”要可怕一万倍:你的系统将完全崩溃!

    3丶

    我在一家电脑公司工作时,有一天,一位女士打来电话说她的打印机不工作。

    我就问她用的是什么操作系统,是不是Windows,她回答说她不清楚。

    我又问她桌子上有鼠标(mouse:老鼠)吗?

    她回答:“感谢上帝,这是一间非常干净的办公室。”

    0
     
  • juan073839801293 am9:33 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室,   

    WINDOWS式饭店 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    一家饭店的生意不好,只好卖给别人。新老板原是微软公司的市场部经理,他采取了一种独特的营销策略。开张的第一天,来了第一个顾客,只要了一碗汤。可是汤刚刚送上,就发生了以下一幕:

    顾客:喂,来人啦!

    侍者:先生,我叫碧儿,有什么事需要帮忙吗?

    顾客:这汤里有一只苍蝇。

    侍者:是吗,您再试着喝一次,可能就没有了。

    顾客:我试了好几次了,可苍蝇还在那里。

    侍者:可能是您喝汤的方式不对,您用叉子试试看。

    顾客:我连筷子都试了,但苍蝇还是赖着不走。

    侍者:哦,也许是这汤与您用的碗不兼容,您用的是什么地方的碗?

    顾客:是刚才你用托盘送过来的呀。

    侍者:您再仔细回忆一下,您发现苍蝇前都做了些什么?

    顾客:我坐下来,要了一碗汤,汤一送上来,就看到了苍蝇。

    侍者:这样吧,如果您愿意再破费一点,我们给您的汤升级。

    顾客:你们的汤是可以升级的吗?

    侍者:是的,我们的汤每小时都在升级。鉴于您发现苍蝇的功劳,我们可以特别为您升级到下周才推出的4.0123456789版。

    顾客:好吧,我很饿了,快快送上来吧。

    侍者:对不起,4.0123456789版还没做好,必须推迟发布,您就先喝这内部测试用的3.987654321版吧。

    顾客:可是这汤里又有一条菜青虫啊!?

    侍者:这很正常,您喝汤时别让嘴碰着它就行了。

    顾客:只好如此了。

    帐单:

    原汤10元

    升级3元

    咨询1元

    一年之后,这家饭店迅速成为全球最大的饮食集团。

    2丶

    男:就职于一家IT媒体。

    女:就职于一家IT公司。

    女:亲爱的,最近我发现你情绪低落,反应速度大大降低,是不是头脑里碎片太多,要不要我帮你整理一下?

    男:我也说不清楚,我觉得越来越与同事不兼容了。

    女:也许这与你和他们配置有关系,你们办公室好像就你一个是从外地毕业分到北京的。

    男:这不是主要原因。有时,他们谈得正热闹时,我一插话就死机。

    女:难道你谈了什么非法话题?

    男:不是我非法,他们尽谈论一些行业应用话题,什么汽车啦,房子啦,三陪啦。我觉得他们的话题版本大低,应该升级。

    女:你应该学会向下兼容。

    男:这是一个迅速更新换代的社会,向下兼容未免成本太高。而且,还造成很大的资源浪费。我倒认为他们应该扩充内存。

    女:你知道吗,亲爱的,有些事情并不是简单的内存升级所能解决的,关键问题在于头脑的运行速度和缓存大小。

    男:他们的处理速度并不比我慢。他们总是不同的话题切换来切换去,但每次都没有结果。

    女:难道你对这种同时打开多个话题窗口的方式不习惯吗?现代社会完全能够支持这种多任务话题系统。

    男:但为什么我要么插不上话,要么一插就死机呢?

    女:他们不会对你设屏幕保护吧?

    男:我真的很想浏览一下他们的大脑,看看每天他们都有什么Headlines,可惜我不知道入口地址。

    女:你干吗不用搜索引擎对他们每天谈话的关键词进行搜索?

    男:这样未免有黑客的嫌疑。

    女:亲爱的,看来你真的需要提高你的知识刷新频率。对了,还有你衣服的墙纸颜色,你不能总是使用标准衣服墙纸。

    男:我很希望每次与同事的谈话都从我这点击开始,我甚至希望能把这种谈话的初始化条件粘贴到以前的朋友圈子中去。

    女:我得提醒你,一次开发并不是一定能到处运行。

    男:不,我不是那个意思,我只是想在社交中寻求更好的稳定性。

    女:我很高兴你能改变你的伙伴策略,我会很快给你做一张寒暄启动盘。但是,在我们安全退出这次谈话任务前,难道你不想对我的嘴唇做定期扫描吗?

    男:嗨!亲爱的,我差点忘了。(扫描进行中……)扫描中发现一个小小的辣椒错误,重试还是取消?

    女:忽略!

    3丶

    在MSWord里敲zzzz这个词,Word会建议你改作sex.

    (zzzz:象声词,睡觉打呼噜)

    0
     
  • maxwellbehrens am9:02 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    病毒的来源 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    某单位的计算机室技术人员小王正在给单位主管信息建设的领导费主任汇报工作:

    小王:“费主任,最近计算机上病毒猖獗,好多文件被破坏了,有些都无法恢复,好多工作都必须重来。”

    费领导:“你别说了,你们计算机室的管理有问题,我亲眼看到身着满身泥土和油腻工作服的职工频繁出入计算机室,这样下去,能不产生病毒?希望你回去查一下,是谁带进去的,然后立即向我汇报,不像话…”

    2丶

    一所中学的电脑教室由于要使用Windows的关系必须要购买一百只鼠标(mouse),于是向财务部打了报告。

     不久就接到会计室的公文:

      “因为经费有限,请先购买一对老鼠,以便繁殖后代。”

    3丶

    一位朋友在办公室受到领导教育:

    “我说小王同志啊,虽然这电脑是你打了报告组织上买给你用的,可是你也不好这么狂妄嘛…”

    可怜的他只好把图标的名字改为“大家的电脑”。

    0
     
  • berryp4204677 am8:46 on 2019年2月17日
    标签: 办公室   

    电脑故事 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    英语课上,老师让同学们由单词“room”联想到其它的单词。

    “windows”一个同学答道,另一同学接着回答“doors”。正在走神的

    电脑迷小明突然回过神来,答道:“还有UNIX,Linux,OS……”

    2丶

    电脑突然没有声音了,于是在网上问:“电脑没有声音,怎么弄都弄不好,急得我快上火了,怎么办?”

    很多热心的网友纷纷留言:建议多喝水,多吃水果,上火特别严重的建议去医院检查。

    3丶

    化缘的改叫众筹了,
    算命的改叫分析师了,
    八卦小报改叫自媒体了,
    统计改叫大数据分析了,
    忽悠改叫互联网思维了,
    做耳机的改为可穿戴设备了,
    IDC的都自称云计算了,
    办公室出租改叫孵化器了,
    圈地盖楼改叫科技园区了,
    放高利贷改叫资本运作了,
    借钱给朋友改叫天使投资了。

    0
     
  • leonidaolds8 pm6:25 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: 办公室,   

    干净的房间 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    我在一家电脑公司工作时,有一天,一位女士打来电话说她的打印机不工作。

      我就问她用的是什么操作系统,是不是Windows,她回答说她不清楚。

      我又问她桌子上有鼠标(mouse:老鼠)吗?

      她回答:“感谢上帝,这是一间非常干净的办公室。”

    2丶

    电脑公司开业之际,亲朋好友饮酒助兴。

      一声“开机(启)”,大家各自开启一瓶啤酒。

      “清零”,大家举瓶畅饮,进行一次“批处理”。

      “复位”,放下酒瓶。

      ……

      “嘿,别喝了,我的内存不够,没法运行。”甲拍拍肚皮道。

      “可不,我的显示器也出毛病了。”乙颤抖着手,语无伦次地说。

      “哎,我的键盘怎么失灵了。”丙叫嚷,“眼前一切都飘飘摇摇的”。

    3丶

    一个旅行者走进硅谷的一家宠物商店,随便浏览着货架上笼子里的动物。这时另一名顾客走了进来,对店员说:“我要一只C猴子。”
      店员点点头,从一只笼子里牵出一只猴子,把连着猴子项圈的绳子递给那位顾客:“五千美元。”那位顾客付了钱然后牵走了猴子。
      这位旅行者惊呆了,他问店员:“这只猴子未免太贵了,一般的猴子也就几百美元,这只猴子有什么特别之处吗?”
      “这只猴子能用C编程——非常快,代码严谨,没有错误。它确实值这个钱。”
      旅行者又看见了另一只猴子,“这只更贵,一万美元!它能干些什么?”
      “哦,它是一只C++猴子,他会面向对象的编程、VisualC++甚至JAVA,它非常有用。”
      过了一会儿,旅行者又看到了第三只猴子,它的脖子上的价格标签竟然标着50000美元。他几乎喘不过气来:“这一只甚至比那两只加起来还要贵,它究竟能干什么呢?”
      “说实话,我也不知道他到底会干什么,不过那两只都叫他‘老板’。”

    0
     

c
写新的
j
下一篇文章/下一个回复
k
前一篇文章/以前的回复
r
回复
e
编辑
o
显示/隐藏 回复
t
回到顶部
l
go to login
h
show/hide help
shift + esc
取消
Shaun Alexander Jersey