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PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

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PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
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IPv6 Support enabled
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Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
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    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b phpinfo()
PHP Logo

PHP Version 5.4.45


System Linux VM_143_218_centos 3.10.0-514.26.2.el7.x86_64 #1 SMP Tue Jul 4 15:04:05 UTC 2017 x86_64
Build Date Jun 5 2017 17:13:39
Configure Command './configure' '--prefix=/www/server/php/54' '--with-config-file-path=/www/server/php/54/etc' '--enable-fpm' '--with-fpm-user=www' '--with-fpm-group=www' '--with-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-mysqli=mysqlnd' '--with-pdo-mysql=mysqlnd' '--with-iconv-dir' '--with-freetype-dir=/usr/local/freetype' '--with-jpeg-dir' '--with-png-dir' '--with-zlib' '--with-libxml-dir=/usr' '--enable-xml' '--disable-rpath' '--enable-bcmath' '--enable-shmop' '--enable-sysvsem' '--enable-inline-optimization' '--with-curl=/usr/local/curl' '--enable-mbregex' '--enable-mbstring' '--with-mcrypt' '--enable-ftp' '--with-gd' '--enable-gd-native-ttf' '--with-openssl=/usr/local/openssl' '--with-mhash' '--enable-pcntl' '--enable-sockets' '--with-xmlrpc' '--enable-zip' '--enable-soap' '--with-gettext' '--disable-fileinfo' '--enable-intl'
Server API FPM/FastCGI
Virtual Directory Support disabled
Configuration File (php.ini) Path /www/server/php/54/etc
Loaded Configuration File /www/server/php/54/etc/php.ini
Scan this dir for additional .ini files (none)
Additional .ini files parsed (none)
PHP API 20100412
PHP Extension 20100525
Zend Extension 220100525
Zend Extension Build API220100525,NTS
PHP Extension Build API20100525,NTS
Debug Build no
Thread Safety disabled
Zend Signal Handling disabled
Zend Memory Manager enabled
Zend Multibyte Support provided by mbstring
IPv6 Support enabled
DTrace Support disabled
Registered PHP Streamshttps, ftps, compress.zlib, php, file, glob, data, http, ftp, phar, zip
Registered Stream Socket Transportstcp, udp, unix, udg, ssl, sslv3, tls
Registered Stream Filterszlib.*, convert.iconv.*, mcrypt.*, mdecrypt.*, string.rot13, string.toupper, string.tolower, string.strip_tags, convert.*, consumed, dechunk

Zend logo This program makes use of the Zend Scripting Language Engine:
Zend Engine v2.4.0, Copyright (c) 1998-2014 Zend Technologies
    with Zend Guard Loader v3.3, Copyright (c) 1998-2013, by Zend Technologies

c4ca4238a0b923820dcc509a6f75849b
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Updates from maryjo60e5 RSS Toggle Comment Threads | 键盘快捷键

  • maryjo60e5 am10:07 on 2019年2月18日
    标签:   

    幽默笑话精选:今天早上吃饭时,一同学裤子上的袋子破了 

      幽默笑话:寝室一MM身高158,却交了一个身高192的男友,一日,下雨,从图书馆后来后闷闷不乐,大家问怎么回事,MM郁闷的说:“出了图书馆,外面下雨有积水,前面一对儿,男的把女的抱过了水洼,可他看了看我,想了一下,用胳肢窝把我夹过去了!”

      幽默笑话:朋友追MM屡战屡败,却仍然屡败屡战。一日,偶打趣他:“你什么时候能让她点头啊?每次她都摇头,哎,我都看不下去了。”他一脸认真的说:“也有例外的!每次我问她周末是不是很忙时,她总是点头!”

      

    幽默笑话精选:今天早上吃饭时,一同学裤子上的袋子破了

      幽默笑话:今天早上吃饭时,一同学裤子上的袋子破了,掉下来20元钱。我在后面看到,立即一脚踩上,假装系鞋带。谁知道那同学回头说:“你能系快点吗?”我说:“怎么了?”丟钱同学说:“你踩到我的钱了!”

    幽默笑话精选:今天早上吃饭时,一同学裤子上的袋子破了

      幽默笑话:前几天,我和一个闺蜜去朋友家去吃饭,当时桌子上有差不多十个硬菜。我在尝了几个菜后,感觉味道真的非常好,于是我就不禁地夸了起来,说:大姐,您这厨艺真是专业水平了!太好吃了,舌头都吃跳舞了!太可惜了,你要是一个男的,我绝对嫁给你!唯一缺点就是怪味花生,这个味道确实有点怪,根本吃不下去啊!大姐,看了她老公一眼后,她老公就说:怪味花生,这一个是我做的!场面,一度尴尬……

      

    幽默笑话精选:今天早上吃饭时,一同学裤子上的袋子破了

      幽默笑话:我去大超市准备给儿子买一袋儿童洗衣液。超市里的导购小妹就一直在旁边喋喋不休地给我推荐儿童洗衣液 。说这款,很划算;这款是大品牌,小孩子玩耍,也不伤手,不会有伤害的。我:这一款多少钱,我指了指她手上拿着的那个新款式。导购:一百块!我:妈呀,这么点,居然要100块!这太贵了,太贵了。我就转到货架的那边去,隐约就听到导购小妹说:买不起,就算叫妈也没用。卧槽,我都想出去,好好地揍她一顿。

      幽默笑话:昨天,我回老家了,我就对爸说:老爸,我准备要结婚了。结果没想到,我爸却说:别!千万别! 你赶紧给我滚回去!我:爸,别人家的父亲都是希望儿子早一点结婚,早一点抱孙子。到了你这里,怎么还说风凉话。老爸:你个小兔崽子,你给我滚犊子!家里一个啃老的,我就受不了。你要是在给我弄一个啃老的,我还有活路吗?结婚?门都没有! 我:……

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 am10:31 on 2019年2月17日  

    这体位 要练多少次才能成功呢? 

    这体位 要练多少次才能成功呢?

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm4:55 on 2019年2月16日
    标签: ,   

    鼠标球 -程序猿段子 

    1丶

    注:这是一份真正的通报,被发给IBM的每一位工程师。作者态度非常认真,但除他之外的人都觉得有些好笑。

    摘要:鼠标球被作为可更换物件。

    现在,鼠标球已经成为可更换物件。因此,当鼠标无法工作,或者操作不正常时,也许就需要更换鼠标球。因为更换鼠标球是一个非常细致的工作,所以只有经过训练的人员才可以进行。

    在动手更换之前,必须先仔细观察鼠标的底部,以确定鼠标球的类型。和外国球相比,本国球较硬较大。

    而鼠标球的拆卸方式也视不同生产商出品的鼠标而不同:外国球采用爆破法,本国球采用扭曲法。一般而言,鼠标球对静电不敏感,但是过度操作也会导致它突然放电。鼠标球更换以后,应该立即试用鼠标。

    推荐每个更换人员要随身携带两个后备鼠标球,使顾客获得最满意结果。那些丢失了鼠标球的顾客有理由怀疑是本地人员取走了这个必备物件。

    2丶

    键盘边,不知什么人留下了半杯牛奶。。。

    乐观主义者说:那杯子有一半是满的。

    悲观主义者说:那杯子有一半是空的。

    Pascal程序员说:它是整型还是浮点的?

    C程序员说:我要直接对着牛奶罐喝。

    汇编程序员说:我要直接对着奶牛喝。

    Basicc程序员说:我还在哺乳期。

    Prolog程序员说:我喝了,别问我怎么喝。

    共享游戏软件作家说:这杯免费,下杯要付钱。

    安全顾问说:剩下的那半杯在那儿?

    版权保护的疯子说:有人免费喝了半杯!

    自由软件基金会说:那是奶牛对全人类的贡献!

    IBM说:从我们这里租杯子吧,我们会为你斟上我们认为最好的饮料。

    微软说:剩下的市场份额已经不值得Microsoft牛奶占有了!

    3丶

    电脑迷们成天坐在电脑前,以致于电脑迷的妻子常说:“让电脑做你老婆算了,要我干什么?”

    此虽是戏言,可细细一想,电脑与老婆还真是有不少共同点且看:

    1、当你买回一部时,另一部性能更好的又上市了。

    2、除了他们的生产厂家外,没有人明白他们的运行规律。

    3、你所犯的任何细小错误都会被记录在案,以作未来参考之用。

    4、DOS错误提示“BadCommandorFileName”的意思是:如果你不知道我为何生你的气,我也不会把原因告诉你。

    5、当你沉迷于电脑时,会发现有一半的时间和金钱花在了购买外围设备上。

    6、电脑与电脑之间的沟通语言是我们完全无法明白的。

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 am11:09 on 2019年2月16日
    标签:   

    经典的吃喝玩乐笑话 

    1、刚开席的时候:你是新闻联播,正襟危坐,不苟言笑,所有的人都和你一样,不同的频道,相同的内容。
    三杯酒下肚后:你开始天气预报,你预报每个人的酒量,并且预报今晚谁会第一个倒下。
    三两酒下肚以后:你成了焦点访谈,到处找别人的茬,专门与别人过不去。
    半斤酒以后:你开始插播广告,虽然画面有点抖动,但你仍然能够一遍遍地重复着相同的广告词。
    八两酒以后:遥控器可能出了点问题,你只有画面,没有声音。
    一斤酒以后:你试图站起来去卫生间,可刚走没几步,“哇——”,你立即就来了个现场直播。

    2、老李到一个度假胜地旅游,来到一家宾馆。宾馆的规模很大,里面还有游泳池。老李走进餐厅,对服务员说:“小姐,给我一份牛排、一杯可乐。”
    服务员给他拿来一个又粗又大的杯子,并解释说:“先生,在我们这里,每样东西都很大。”过了一会儿,服务员又端来一个巨大的盘子,又解释说,“先生,在我们这里,每样东西都很大。”
    老李喝了可乐,吃完牛排,又问服务员:“厕所在哪儿?”
    “在大厅里,向右拐第三间房。”
    老李茫然地进入大厅,往右一拐,一不小心竟然掉进了游泳池,他拼命地喊:“救命!救命!”突然,他又想起了什么,马上大声狂叫:“你们等一下再冲马桶啊!”

    3、虎王和狮王在酒吧喝酒,喝到后来,竟抱头痛哭起来。这时狐狸侍者走过来问道:“两位大哥为何如此伤心?”
    狮王拍拍狐狸,指着虎王说:“他家有个母老虎,俺家有个河东狮。兄弟,这日子怎么过呀?”
    听到这儿,狐狸立刻饱含眼泪,委屈地说:“两位大哥,俺家那个狐狸精也不省心呀!”

    4、某旅客上飞机后,对女检票员说:“把我的一个包运往纽约,一个运往洛杉矶,一个运往迈阿密。”
    检票员说:“这我们做不到!”
    旅客说:“上星期你就是这么做的。”

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 am9:04 on 2019年2月16日
    标签:   

    吃喝方面的搞笑二货囧事 

    1、在街上看到一个乞丐,我问他:“你是不是还没吃饭呢?”
    他点了点头。我说:“那正好,咱俩把这个汉堡分了吧!”
    乞丐愣了一下:“你能再去买个吗?这个是别人刚给我的。”

    2、跟几个朋友去吃饭,路边小饭馆,刚到朋友先点了一道菜:“老板,先来个鱼香肉丝!”
    老板娘出来了,说:“不好意思啊,今天没有鱼了,做不成,要不换个其他的吧。。。”

    3、跟朋友去吃饭,点完菜后,服务员过来问:凉拌O是什么?
    朋友说:凉拌藕啊!藕太难写了太难写了。

    4、有一次一个吃货哥们和我们聚餐,只见他风卷残云一阵扫,不大会儿连打饱嗝,一手扶肚异常惬意,忽然见他屁股抬起半边,满脸用劲儿的表情,噗噗两个响屁,然后惊奇的说:又有地方了。
    吃货的境界我们都不懂。

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm2:25 on 2019年2月15日  

    偷情被现场撞破! 

    《擦枪走火》:这下要出火花了吧!
    偷情被现场撞破!

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm4:39 on 2019年2月14日  

    我们现在是二婚的一桌 

    1丶

    姐:“去年春节开同学会,成双的一桌,光棍的一桌  今年同学会,已婚的一桌,恨嫁的一桌。看这架势,  明年就是抱仔的一桌,绝后的一桌了。”  我妈:“想开点,我们现在是二婚的一桌,  原配的一桌。过几年就剩一桌了。”

    2丶

    今年春节,亲戚朋友聚一起吃饭,席间,逗邻居一个3岁小孩喝酒。  小孩喝了一口,怒骂:“你们这帮老油子,想灌醉老子啊?”  然后一溜烟跑走了。

    3丶

    看春节晚会,梅艳芳演唱李白诗词改编的歌曲。  爸爸问:你对李白的‘床前明月光,疑是地上霜’这两句诗有何感想?  儿子:李白一定是个近视眼。

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm3:45 on 2019年2月14日  

    不经历过妖魔鬼怪怎么能取得真经 

    1丶

    本命年,,女,单身,异地工作。  这几天回家休息,老爹问:这次回家待几天呀。  回:三天。老爹又说:这次回家啥目的啥,  三天的话足够你相亲了。  我苦笑:饶了我吧,别再让我去见妖魔鬼怪了。  老爹说:不经历过妖魔鬼怪怎么能取得真经。  好吧,老爹,我以前咋没发现您老这么幽默!

    2丶

    本人大四,单身四年,何其孤单。  最近爱上了漂流瓶,期待美好的偶遇。  今天一个QQ号扔出去的瓶子,竟然被我另一个号捞上来了。  牛逼啊,这日子没法过了,真他妈的孤单和草蛋。

    3丶

    本人单身大龄剩男。  曾有同事介绍相亲一姑娘,我很喜欢,但人家妹子说没感觉。  过了两年,另一同事又把这姑娘介绍给我了。  见面后,姑娘说挺喜欢我,但是我却说没感觉。  姑娘瞬间来了一句:“你是来报仇的吧?”

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm3:00 on 2019年2月14日
    标签:   

    我也不错,老板娘对我很好 

      搞笑段子:去理发店理发,店里的发型师不停地劝我办会员卡。我机智地说:“我只是路过,并不是本地人,办了卡以后也没法用的。”发型师说:“不用担心,你是哪里人?下个星期我们会去你那儿开个分店。”

      搞笑段子:两个刚刚跨出校门走上社会的姑娘相遇,相貌一般的问长得漂亮的同学:“你工作愉快吗?”漂亮的同学:“不错,老板对我很好,你呢?”相貌一般的同学:“我也不错,老板娘对我很好。”

      搞笑段子:你们身上受伤了是怎么解决的,我妈妈都是给我抹碘酒各种伤都抹碘酒,我家碘酒加起来比酒多,头破皮,碘酒,其他地方破皮碘酒,被蚊子咬了碘酒,脚砸伤,骨折碘酒,烫伤,冻伤碘酒,带状疱疹,水痘,碘酒,甲沟炎等啥啥都碘酒,我都怀疑胃疼了,是不是得干一瓶碘酒,就像女生一不得劲喝热水,我不得劲估计抹碘酒,抹哪啊。

    0
     
  • maryjo60e5 pm5:16 on 2019年2月13日
    标签: ,   

    我都讨厌…… 

    1丶

    喜欢星期一,因为有地理课  喜欢星期二,因为有历史课  喜欢星期三,因为有生物课  喜欢星期四,因为有品德课  喜欢星期五,因为有外教课  喜欢星期六,因为可以玩  讨厌星期天,因为又要上课了!

    2丶

    现在明白我最辉煌的时间应该是高考前,那时上知天文,下知地理,左拿蒸馏瓶,右握电阻器。  虽不说精通代数,但也略懂几何,偶遇老外也曾英语对骂。  梦回唐朝尚能吟诗作对,上溯中华万千风流,下推海外千百英雄。  音乐美术计算机门门精通,武术民俗手工艺样样不俗。  现在呢,除了打游戏刷微博。丫就是渣…

    3丶

    小华不想上学,爸爸问他:“你要给我一个理由!”  小华回答:学习的科目太没品味!  爸爸好奇:为啥呢?  小华回答:地理,全是些山山水水的事!  历史,全是些稀奇古怪的事!  政治,全是些是是非非的事!  语文,全是些油嘴滑舌的事!  生物,全是些男男女女的事!  物理,全是些棍棍棒棒的事!  化学,全是些坛坛罐罐的事!  数学,全是些斤斤计较的事!  英语,全是些叽叽哇哇的事!

    0
     

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